August 22, 2017

About the author  ⁄ Madeline Roth

Pharrell And Anna Wintour Are Actually The Geniuses Behind North West’s Name

by 32 mins ago

Just when you were ready to give in to his pressure and admit Kanye West is the greatest genius to ever walk the planet, Kim Kardashian dropped this truth bomb: They didn’t actually come up with the name North West, like we had all believed.

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Besides spilling about a possible new sex tape, Kim dished to GQ that the media actually fueled the fire around the name. “It was a rumor in the press and we’d never really considered [the name North] seriously at all,” Kim admitted.

So what eventually led Kimye to change their minds about the adorable geographical moniker? None other than Pharrell and Anna Wintour, naturally!

“Kanye and I were having lunch… and Pharrell came over to us and said, ‘Oh my god, are you guys really going to call your daughter North? That is the best name,’” Kim said.

After his approval was sealed, Vogue Editor and fashion maven, Anna Wintour, cosigned on the name. “A little while later Anna Wintour came over and asked the same thing,” Kim said. “She told us, ‘North is a genius name.’ Kanye and I looked at one another and just laughed. I guess at that point it sort of stuck.”

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All in all, this story has taught us three very important things:

1) Pharrell apparently keeps up on celebrity baby gossip.
2) If there are any two people in the world whose opinions you should always take seriously, it’s the guy who believes happiness ...

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This Girl Was Forced To Wear A ‘Shame Suit’ On Her Third Day At A New School

by 1 min ago

Being the new kid at school is tough. Especially if you’re forced to wear a hideous, oversized outfit that basically brands you as a troublemaker.

Believe it or not, that’s what happened to 15-year-old Miranda Larkin, a sophomore at Oakleaf High School in Orange, Park Florida. ABC News reports that the teen, who had just moved to Florida from Seattle a week before, was forced to wear a school-mandated outfit after an infraction of the policy.

On her third day of school, a teacher told Miranda her skirt was too short, and she would have to change into the school’s “dress code violation outfit.” The getup is as terrible as it sounds: A neon yellow tee with the phrase “DRESS CODE VIOLATION” across the front, accompanied by red sweatpants with the same phrase down the right leg.

In other words, this outfit is practically begging people to point and stare, which doesn’t sound like the best way to welcome a new student who’s already scrambling to find friends.

She shared about the situation on her Facebook and Instagrammed it to spread the word further:

“The school has said this is to embarrass you,” Miranda said. “It’s supposed to embarrass you so you don’t do it again.” She also shared a picture of the outfit that she received punishment for:

Miranda was so upset at having to wear the mortifying outfit that she starting sobbing and breaking out in hives. Her mom, Dianna Larkin, was equally as outraged about the debacle, and now she’s ...

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Josh Gordon Needs To Study These Cleveland Spokesmen For His New Car Dealership Gig

by 13 mins ago

As a proud Clevelander, I know there are a ton of amazing local pitchmen that grace our TVs every day. So when I found out Browns receiver Josh Gordon got a new gig at Sarchione Auto Group in Cleveland — just some all-American part-time work while he’s out on a year-long NFL suspension — I figured he’ll need some tips from the pros. Because everyone knows you can’t be a car salesman without making a cheesy local commercial. From the awkwardly creepy to the boisterously energetic, here are 10 of Cleveland’s greatest and wisest local commercial spokesmen. You’re welcome, Josh.

Marc Norton from Norton Furniture

First and foremost, Marc from Norton Furniture is a local Cleveland legend, and arguably the best pitchman who ever walked the planet. Honestly, it’s a miracle this guy’s face hasn’t been put on a postage stamp or a commemorative coin by now, because his commercials are ON. POINT. He wore the same all-black outfit every time, accessorized by his distinguished glasses and gray ponytail. The kicker here is his soft, creepy voice that you’d THINK is just for fun… until you learn he actually does talk like that. Yikes. There are dozens of these commercials, and they should all be required viewing because of the hilarious poorly-made skits that had him confronting everyone from Robin Hood to Humpty Dumpty to Adam and Eve, He always gave the same spiel about “seriously!” being able to help you with your credit problems, finishing each pitch with, ...

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Man Granted Divorce Over Wife’s ‘Aggressive’ Sex Demands

by 11 mins ago

Is there such a thing as too much sex with your spouse? It’s hard to imagine, but a Mumbai family court seems to think so.

An Indian man was recently granted a divorce because of his wife’s “insatiable appetite for sex.” (Those are his words, not hers.) The man claims that, since their marriage in 2012, his wife has been “aggressive and autocratic,” and has been mercilessly harassing him to join her in the bedroom. It allegedly got so bad that he had to be hospitalized, and she forced him to take medications to boost his sexual stamina so he could keep up with her.

What’s worse, the wife didn’t just demand a ton of sex…she allegedly threatened to punish her husband if he didn’t deliver. The man told the court that she would leave him for another man if he didn’t satisfy her fully. “It is intolerable for him and he cannot bear any more atrocities at the hands of the respondent (woman),” the legal petition said. “He apprehends danger to his life and limb. The respondent has made his life horrible by her cruel behavior.”

The life lesson here is: Sex should be fun. And if it starts to feel like a burdensome chore that you HAVE to do, you’re probably in the wrong relationship.

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Wes Welker Allegedly Took Molly At Kentucky Derby, Now Suspended Four Games

by 1 min ago

If you had your fantasy football draft before today, which is most of you, the person who drafted Wes Walker is pissed. Denver Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker is suspended for four games because he allegedly took molly at one of the biggest sports events in the world.

Did it really happen? Let’s rewind back to that fateful day, May 3, and take a look at the facts.

Dressed to the nines in a slick tan suit with a mustard-colored fedora (and a pair of aviators to discreetly hide his eyes), Welker’s day at the races was going pretty damn well. He reportedly won more than $57,000 betting on races, although it was later discovered he’d been overpaid by $14,000. Womp, womp. But no matter; Welker was strutting around Churchill Downs like he owned the place, dishing out $100 bills to mere commoners on the track who looked on in awe. At least, that’s how we like to imagine it. We’re also digging this version of events that has him lazily waking up in a horse stable.

For the record, Welker denies knowingly taking any kind of drugs, claiming someone probably slipped something in his mint julep. “I wouldn’t have any idea how to get a Molly or what a Molly is,” Welker told the Denver Post. “That’s a joke. I don’t do marijuana, I don’t do any drugs.” On the bright side, Welker now has the next four weeks—to study up on “what a Molly ...

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This Tuxedoed Man Shot At Couple Who Interrupted Him During Oral Sex

by 15 mins ago

It’s a basic rule of Guy Code and of humanity in general: Thou shalt not interrupt thy neighbor while he is “getting busy.” Unfortunately for one Seattle guy, though, not everyone plays by that rule.

Paul J. Hunter was having the time of his life, receiving oral sex in a street-side alcove in Seattle’s Pioneer Square. But then a man and woman walked down the street, engaged in a loud argument, and stumbled upon the liaison. The interruption scared off Hunter’s lady friend.

Related: Florida Grandma Videos A Couple Having Sex On The Beach For Half-Hour

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What happened next was an even bigger violation of Guy Code. For some unspecified reason, Hunter was fully donned in a tuxedo, so he hitched up his tux pants and let his anger get the best of him. According to police, Hunter shouted, “You’re dead mother******, you’re dead!” and fired a shot at them. Luckily, no one was hurt — the couple crouched behind a parked car as Hunter walked away from the scene. He was picked up by police shortly after, and has been charged with second-degree assault for opening fire.

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Shorter Guys Are Less Likely To Divorce, According To New Study

by 28 mins ago

Between countless “Napoleon Complex” accusations and the agonizing search for properly-fitting pants, vertically-challenged guys of the world have it rough sometimes. But when it comes to making women happy, it’s actually tall guys who get the short end of the stick.

A recent study done by sociologists at New York University looked at the correlation between a man’s height and his relationships. Researchers used data collected from 1986 through 2011, and classified men as short (less than 5’7”) average, or tall (more than 6’4”). They found that shorter men were 32% less likely to divorce, which is a pretty impressive stat. One reason may be because shorter men were also more likely to marry later in life than taller men, meaning they made their decision as older and wiser guys.

Related: This Dude Scores Tinder Win for Short Guys Everywhere

The study also found that taller men were more likely to marry women closer to their own age, and who were better-educated. Researchers predicted that’s because taller men are able to “exchange their attractive attribute (height) for better-educated spouses, while short men are unable to do so,” the researchers wrote. Shorter guys, on the other hand, married less educated and younger women, earning a much higher income than their spouse once they did marry. Researchers concluded that may be because short guys want to assert their masculinity more and be the breadwinners of the household.

Related: The Code For Short Guys: How To Live Big Without Standing Tall

The bottom ...

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Worst Criminal Ever Stops Running From Cops To Play With Cats

by 13 mins ago

Yes, this happened in Florida.

While leading police on a wild chase through Boca Raton, 21-year-old Daniel Pinedo Velapatino decided he was thirsty. He had spent the morning allegedly taking drugs, stealing money, crashing cars and fleeing police, so naturally, he needed to rehydrate.

So Velapatino knocked on a stranger’s door and asked for a glass of water. “He said, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. Next door, I’m mowing the lawn. Do you mind if I have a glass of water?’” said Candace Noonan, the owner of the home. Noonon went to get him a bottle of water, and when she came back, Velapatino was lying on her living room floor, playing with her cats. “It was odd, very odd,” Noonan said. “He was stroking my cat. It almost looked like he either was on drugs or he was mentally handicapped.” Or maybe he knew his last few moments as a free man would be best spent nuzzling kitten?

Velapatino-cat-criminalPalm Beach County Jail

After Noonan started questioning Velapatino, he fled out the back door and a fleet of cop cars drove up around the house. Police continued chasing Velapatino, who desperately jumped into a canal and tried to swim away. But a police boat snatched him up and took him into custody.

According to investigators, Velapatino had been up all night taking drugs with a couple friends. Now, he’s accused of stealing thousands of dollars from a friend’s wallet, as well as crashing a stolen Lexus into a police cruiser ...

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Did This UFC Fighter Go Too Far With His Tiger Selfie?

by 17 mins ago

We’ve told you about how New York recently banned tiger selfies, a strange viral trend that’s all too common on apps like Tinder. Even though animal rights activists have criticized the pics, apparently some guys still think they’re a cool idea — including UFC fighter Luke Rockhold, who recently took them to a bizarre new extreme.

The middleweight contender and former Strikeforce champion didn’t just pose next to a giant jungle cat and call it a day — he got WAY up close and personal. Rockhold was reportedly at a zoo in Thailand when he posed for this pic of him cupping a tiger by the balls, captioning the photo, “Who’s your daddy.”

Naturally, a ton of people went off on him in the comments for going too far. Rockhold quickly tweeted out an apology, saying, “For those of u who think it was disrespectful I’m sorry. Was so minor just joking around. I was way too scared and would never do anything harmful to any animal.”

He also followed up with an Instagram video that shows how the whole incident happened:

It looks like he maybe didn’t actually mean to grab the tiger’s bits in the first place. But still, we hope he realizes it was a weird thing to post…and it definitely won’t help him land any girls on Tinder, if that’s what he was planning. Although posing with an aww-dorable little cub might:

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This Naked Guy Went On A Violent Rampage At A Oregon Hemp Festival

by 1 min ago

Hemp festivals seem like pretty chill events, right? Gathering a bunch of people to celebrate marijuana doesn’t exactly scream “chaos.” That is, except when a naked, scary, wild-haired dude decides to wreak havoc by unleashing his inner Tarzan. Then, all hell breaks loose.

During a three-day hemp fest in southern Oregon, 27-year-old Timothy Seaux was arrested after beating on cars and getting into fights. Police arrived on the scene to find four people pinning the “naked and combative” man to the ground.

oregon-hemp-manJosephine County Sheriff's Office

They were finally able to restrain him and take him into custody, but not before he reportedly kicked an officer several times and kicked the back of the patrol car repeatedly. Seaux was so out of control that medical personnel were called on to the scene to sedate him before high-tailing it out of there.

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On top of his charges for first-degree criminal mischief and menacing, Seaux’s wild antics also earned him charges for assaulting a public safety officer and resisting arrest. Next time, someone might want to tell him that violent rampages at hemp festivals can probably be avoided by the very thing you’re there to promote. We’re just saying.

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