July 20, 2018

About the author  ⁄ Zach Sims

21 Things You Learn In College Without Even Trying

by 1 min ago

College, the greatest 4-13 years of your life, is filled with so many lessons that most of them whip by without you even noticing. Maybe you’ll remember a particular reading assignment or guest speaker, but it’s the little things you learn that make college such an important place of higher education…

1. Your friend with the chin beard will always go to the bar, but he’ll never give you back those 20 bucks.

2. Kids eat ramen noodles. Grown-ups eat ramen noodles with an egg in it.

3. If you show up to places in sweatpants, you’ll act like you showed up to places in sweatpants.

4. Always knock first on your roommate’s door. ALWAYS.

5. House parties are the best…especially when they aren’t at your house.

Related: Ice Breakers You Should Never Use At College Parties

6. A beer gut is a very, very real thing.

7. You can actually call your mom for things that don’t involve sending you money.

8. The two most important words in the English language: “Free food.”

9. Knowing yourself means knowing your strengths. They shouldn’t all contain the words “beer” or “pong.”

10. A homework headache is better than a hangover headache.

Related: 27 SnapChats That Perfectly Explain College

11. There’s a difference between a “booty text” and a “creepy text.”

12. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, especially when it’s a dare from someone in a frat.

13. Never mix cheap liquor with cheaper tacos.

14. There is nothing on this planet more satisfying than beating everybody on your ...

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13 Of The Only Times It’s OK To Wear A Fedora

by 11 mins ago

Unless you’re a time traveler from the 1920s, wearing a fedora makes you king of all doofs. But there’s an exception to every rule. So here are all the times when you can and should pull the fedora out of the closet…just please never take it out for any other reason ever again.

1. Practice for your jazz quartet

2. You’re bald and spilled mustard on your wig

3. A chemical disease has rendered everyone in the world blind

4. You’re Jon Hamm. He can do no wrong.


5. You’ve entered a competition for “World’s Coolest Uncle”

6. You’re on your way to getting your beeper repaired

7. It’s Halloween and all your other costumes got lost in the fire

8. You are the one who knocks


9. You need something that matches with the sunglasses you always wear indoors

10. It’s Big Band Night at the retirement community

11. You’re just sick of women finding you attractive

12. Too many people think you’re cool

13. You recently woke up from a 90-year coma that began when fedoras didn’t make you an a–hole



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19 Things You Wanted To Do This Summer But Didn’t

by 16 mins ago

“This is the summer I run a marathon!” you swore, right before remembering how much you love beer. You planned on doing a lot of other things this summer, too, and ended up doing very few of them. The good news is that you’re not alone. Check out these incredibly common promises made/broken since June, and maybe you’ll feel better about how lazy you are.

1. “I’m going to read all the classic novels”


Related: Skipped Your Summer Reading? These 20 Required Reads Are Movies Too

2. “I’m going to have the best bonfire party EVER”


3. “I’m going to lose those last 25-45 pounds”


4. “I’m going to be more careful with the fireworks this year”

Poop Fireworks

5. “I’m going to get awesome at surfing”


6. “I’m going to impress everyone at the BBQ”


7. “I’m going to take it easy on the day drinking”

Charlie Drunk

Related: Adult Summer Camp Is A Place You Can Go, And It Is Ridiculous

8. “I’m going to start that herb garden”

Baby Hose

9. “I’m going to finally summon the courage to skydive”


10. “I’m going to eat more kale”


11. “I’m going to buy tickets for every summer blockbuster”


Related: The Film Industry Just Had Its Worst Summer In 17 Years

12. “I’m going to learn to scuba dive”

Fish In Da Mouth

13. “I’m going to break out ...

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How To Be The Best Third Wheel EVER

by 5 mins ago

There are certain situations in life that you just can’t avoid. You will have to pay taxes. You will get super fat after college. You will be a third wheel. It’s uncomfortable, but that’s just because you suck at being a third wheel. Here are tips to up your being-part-of-somebody-else’s-relationship game.

Let the other two wheels roll to you
There’s nothing wrong with being a third wheel. Couples like hanging out with people who aren’t them just as much as you like hanging out with people who aren’t your Xbox. Just make sure the time’s right by waiting for them to invite you to hang out. Going to a movie, a game or a concert can be a great night — but inviting yourself to their anniversary dinner might be a little tricky.

Don’t make them feel awkward
Even when you’ve been invited out, understand that they’re still on a date and there’s many, many ways you could f–k it up. If they’ve been on the rocks, don’t mention their arguments. If your friend has confided in you, don’t bring the secret up — or even allude to it with a smirk. If they’re snuggling romantically, maybe don’t tell that story about how you got diarrhea on the elliptical.

This is the best way to ensure that you don’t get “forgotten” next time they’re having a pool party. Also, probably don’t tell anybody that elliptical story — might be why you’re single.

Don’t ignore one of them
Sure, you’re naturally inclined to pay more attention to ...

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9 Perks Of Not Being A Slob (Like These Guys)

by 1 hour ago

For most of us, our early years are spent living in filth. Who has time to clean up when we have video games to play and frozen pizzas to burn/eat? You do, or you should. Being even remotely clean can do wonders for your life. Here’s a look at just some of the benefits of being a little not as gross.

1. You’ll Have A Room To Bring Someone Back To

2691465516_170ce80f9a_oFlickr: Matt Lemmon

Sure, you’re a grownup and you can live as grossly as you want. Guess who doesn’t like that? Anybody you’re bringing home from the bar. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are if your room is so messy and smelly it’s terrifying.

2. Your Roommate Won’t Hate You


The only thing people dislike more than doing dishes is doing your dishes. Clean up after yourself, and you won’t have to worry about your roommate doing terrible, awful things to you in your sleep. Speaking of which…

3. You Won’t Get Internet Shamed

Gross RoommateImgur

Step up your game before you become the next meme.

4. You’ll Actually Be Able To Use Your Kitchen

Gross CounterImgur

Go ahead. Make some space for that juicer you’ve been wanting.

5. Nobody Has To Destroy The Rainforest To Pee

Gross ToiletImgur

The TP Seat should be for public bathrooms only, not your frat-house-level filthy pee room.

6. You Won’t Be The Neighborhood Disgrace

messy neighborsFlickr: Kyle Pearce

No adult ...

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