April 20, 2024

Chris Pratt Is A Crotch-Rubbing Superhero Come To Life On ‘SNL’

Chris Pratt is a man of many talents. He can open a jar of pickles just as easily as he french-braids hair. He keeps things humble when he remembers the time he lived in a van down by the river, and dubbed his first headshot “Douchemaster McChest.”

All of which lends him to be a charming “Saturday Night Live” host. Let’s run through the highlights, shall we?

He’s Not Afraid To Show His Sensitive Side

In the Season 40 opening monologue, Pratt jokes about slimming down for his ripped role as Star-Lord in “Guardians Of The Galaxy,” by going on the “hey fat ass get into shape so you can be in my movie diet.” Strumming the guitar he serenades wife Anna Faris who is sitting in the audience, recalling the time the two “had sex and a baby popped out.”

He Makes A Great He-Man

Danny (Kyle Mooney) is just a lonely kid on his birthday when he makes a wish for his toys to come to life. Enter He-Man (Pratt) and Lion-O (Taran Killam), who discover the simple pleasures in life: cake, crotch-rubbing and hot sisters.

Marvel At His Princess Leia Buns, Hun

The Marvel franchise and its blockbuster success get spoofed with upcoming movie titles like “Bus People,” “Pam,” “Fancy Ghosts,” “Some Shopping Carts,” “Pam 2: The Winter Pam,” and Marvel’s very own “Star Wars,” where Pratt rocks some serious man buns as Princess Leia.

Pete Davidson Is A Business, Man

“Guy Code”s Pete Davidson makes his “SNL” debut as a resident young person, talking the business pros of going down on a guy. (Oh look he’s talking to new Weekend Update co-host Michael Che!)

That Big, Fat Ass

Sheryl (Aidy Bryant) and Todd (Chris Pratt) are nervous to talk to each other at a bar, but they find a mutal way of conversing through rap lyrics. Bryant’s lyrics about her “big fat ass” are backed by a Nicki Minaj “Anaconda” sounding track, while Pratt reels off lines including “plow through your panties like I’m running on diesel.” But as long as Anna is still laughing we all are!

Pratt was definitely a great choice to kick off the new SNL season. Sarah Silverman and Maroon 5 will host and perform on October 4.

About the author  ⁄ Kelci Shipley

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