Regardless of your opinions on Lance Armstrong and his legacy, you have to admit: this run-in of his with the deliciously dark and hilarious-in-a-terrible-way game Cards Against Humanity is pretty freaking hilarious.
The self-described “card game for terrible people” has several choice cards from which you can pick in order to expose your truly messed-up inner self to your friends. Only when Armstrong was playing, it seems, things sidestepped the metaphorical and went straight for the delightfully literal.
Needless to say, surely the not-so-stifled gigglegaggle was on high alert during this game.
But, to be fair to Armstrong: It could’ve been a lot more awkward. After all, Cards Against Humanity is the gift that keeps on giving, with several cards in each pack left blank so that you and your fellow revelers might bring slightly more personal humor (true or not) to the game. Meaning it could’ve been very easy for Armstrong to have pulled one of these [completely made-up] cards instead:
1. “Lying about blood doping to the World Anti-Doping Agency.”
2. “Getting taken to task by Oprah Winfrey on national television.”
3. “Sleeping on a giant pile of money you earned by cheating.”
4. “Recycling your blood to pass a drug test (ew).”
5. “Cheating a whole bunch during the Tour de France.”
6. “Ruining cycling for everybody.”
7. “Throwing your friends under the bus.”
8. “Disgracing the good name of the United States Postal Service…again.”
9. “Suing people for telling lies about you that are actually true.”
10. “Making everyone wear little yellow rubber bracelets and then lying to them.”
11. “Being a big, fat, fatty fat liar.”
So just remember, Lance: It could have been worse. It could have been way, way worse.
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