Unless you’re a time traveler from the 1920s, wearing a fedora makes you king of all doofs. But there’s an exception to every rule. So here are all the times when you can and should pull the fedora out of the closet…just please never take it out for any other reason ever again.
1. Practice for your jazz quartet
2. You’re bald and spilled mustard on your wig
3. A chemical disease has rendered everyone in the world blind
4. You’re Jon Hamm. He can do no wrong.
5. You’ve entered a competition for “World’s Coolest Uncle”
6. You’re on your way to getting your beeper repaired
7. It’s Halloween and all your other costumes got lost in the fire
8. You are the one who knocks
9. You need something that matches with the sunglasses you always wear indoors
10. It’s Big Band Night at the retirement community
11. You’re just sick of women finding you attractive
12. Too many people think you’re cool
13. You recently woke up from a 90-year coma that began when fedoras didn’t make you an a–hole
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