Although this latest season of “American Horror Story” is widely considered to be the one that’ll finally land its star Sarah Paulson a much-deserved Emmy win, that delightful proposition comes with a bitter aftertaste: It is also, supposedly, the last time we’ll ever see Jessica Lange in any of her various roles as the show’s extraordinary grande dame.
Ever since her surprise series-stealing performance as Constance Langdon in “American Horror Story: Murder House,” La Lange has delivered a show on top of a show in her every AHS appearance. Multiple times per season, she slays us — and then, like one of Miss Robichaud’s hapless student witches, brings us back to life just to slay us a second time. Below, we round up all the best times we’ve died for Jessica Lange’s glorious horrorshow.
1. The only thing more poisonous than that cancer stick? Constance Langdon’s contempt.
2. Any time Lange picks up a cigarette, you know death will shortly follow.
3. And if looks could kill, this one would.
4. Just dying over this Sister Jude truthbomb.
5. After the killing: redecorating.
6. And although she seems to be a bit sweeter lately…
7. There’s always some spice to go with that sugar.
8. What were we after this scene? Dead. Dead dead, bo-bed, banana-fana-fo-fed.
9. When Jessica Lange isn’t personally slaying the AHS audience, she’s killing the patriarchy.
10. Are you still alive? Not for long. Nobody can survive life on Mars.
11. Her performance reviews? Killer.
12. She’s actually addressing the audience here, you know.
13. If you’re only mostly dead after all of this, this last shot from the first episode of “Freak Show” will get you the rest of the way there.
12. And best of all, while we’re dying over her awesome performances, La Lange will go right on living.
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