Today is a pretty big deal. You know why, right? Oh my god, you’re joking. It’s only Lithuanian Constitution Day, the day when — oh duh, sorry. We’re actually here to celebrate Katy Perry’s birthday! Girlfriend is now officially 30 years old.
Related: Who Wants To Watch Katy Perry Turn Into A Cat?
On October 25, 1984, the platinum-selling singer and noted RiFF RAFF enthusiast first set her sights on planet Earth, and to say that she’s had an impact would definitely be an understatement.
If you’re anything like us, you’re probably feeling tons o’ feelings over Katy’s big day. Don’t worry, our 30-step emotional blow-by-blow has you covered.
1.) You’re surprised, because you had no idea that it was Katy Perry’s birthday.
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2.) Shocked, even.
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3.) TERRIFIED, EVEN.
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4.) And guilty. You forgot to send a card.
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5.) So. Much. Guilt.
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6.) CRUSHING GUILT.
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7.) OK, not that much guilt. Katy will survive tbh.
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8.) But still kinda bummed. Her birthday party’s probably gonna be killer.
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9.) Yet, you’re inspired. Because you’ve got a brilliant idea.
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10.) You’ll hop the first flight to L.A. and crash her blowout.
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11.) SMUG BREAK, because you’re sooooo smahhhhhht.
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12.) Now, you’re excited because you’ve made it to the airport on time.
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13.) And also horrified because you’re actually SUPER-SCARED OF FLYING WHY DIDN’T YOU REMEMBER THAT.
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14.) Your flight has touched down. You feel accomplished. You’ve faced your fear head-on.
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15.) OK, gameface. Let’s get serious.
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16.) Uh oh, you’re getting a little overwhelmed.
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17.) And we’re back. Cool as a cucumber and twice as calm.
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18.) Cucumbers are known for their calmness.
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19.) You’ve arrived outside the venue, and you’re so awe-struck.
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20.) Oops, the doorman says you’re not on the list. Cue embarrassment.
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21.) Now, you’re getting bratty because YOU’RE, LIKE, TOTALLY ON THE LIST, OK?!
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22.) It didn’t work. You’re crestfallen because your master plan to meet Katy IRL is quickly unraveling right before your eyes.
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23.) Also, distraught. (But not about that swell Nokia phoooooooone!)
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24.) Also, grossed out because you may or may not have just stepped in dog poop.
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25.) But mostly sad. Truly, deeply and profoundly sad.
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26.) Wait, is that…? Is that Katy Perry?! Getting out of the car 10 feet from where you stand?
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27.) All hope is restored.
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28.) AND YOU FEEL AWESOME.
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29.) And also a little overstimulated.
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30.) But mostly awesome. HBD, Katy Perry. HBD.
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