By now, you’ve probably heard the news: Mila Kunis, the most famously pregnant person in the world, has given birth to a baby girl. And now, having been through labor, she can move on to more important matters — like working through this checklist of immediate must-do tasks for the brand new celebrity mom. First up?
1. Practice her parental discipline skills.
“I’m not angry, I’m just really disappointeeeeeeeaaaaahAHAHAHAHAHAHA *throws ball of fire* *flies away on broomstick*.”
2. Start thinking about what values she’d like to teach her kid.
So many life lessons, and only eighteen years to impart them all.
3. Send thank-you notes to everyone who gave her baby gifts.
“Dear Ellen, thank you for the sauerkraut.”
4. Preserve a mega-cut of all her “That 70s Show” scenes with Ashton Kutcher.
One day, Mila’s child will find it sweet that she can watch the early evolution of her parents’ relationship. But until then, it’ll make for great leverage: “Clean up your room, or you’ll be watching me and your dad make out on a continuous loop for the next 72 hours!”
5. Get together with her ladyfriends.
After nine long months of pregnancy, mama needs a girls’ night out.
6. And of course, do tequila shots.
We know she’s been missing them.
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