College, the greatest 4-13 years of your life, is filled with so many lessons that most of them whip by without you even noticing. Maybe you’ll remember a particular reading assignment or guest speaker, but it’s the little things you learn that make college such an important place of higher education…
1. Your friend with the chin beard will always go to the bar, but he’ll never give you back those 20 bucks.
2. Kids eat ramen noodles. Grown-ups eat ramen noodles with an egg in it.
3. If you show up to places in sweatpants, you’ll act like you showed up to places in sweatpants.
4. Always knock first on your roommate’s door. ALWAYS.
5. House parties are the best…especially when they aren’t at your house.
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6. A beer gut is a very, very real thing.
7. You can actually call your mom for things that don’t involve sending you money.
8. The two most important words in the English language: “Free food.”
9. Knowing yourself means knowing your strengths. They shouldn’t all contain the words “beer” or “pong.”
10. A homework headache is better than a hangover headache.
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11. There’s a difference between a “booty text” and a “creepy text.”
12. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, especially when it’s a dare from someone in a frat.
13. Never mix cheap liquor with cheaper tacos.
14. There is nothing on this planet more satisfying than beating everybody on your dorm floor at “Madden.”
15. Use your sick days wisely!
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16. Always spend the extra buck for the good frozen pizza. You deserve it.
17. If you’re singing out loud, and you’re not at a karaoke bar, it’s probably time to go home.
18. Never start talking to the dude with the Bob Marley posters about outer space.
19. Always stop two drinks before “one last drink…”
20. Never underestimate the value of shower flip-flops.
21. Just because you can wear cargo shorts doesn’t mean you should wear cargo shorts.
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