Back in August, Will Reid — a father of two teenagers in Southampton, England — posted a YouTube video titled “Toilet Roll Changing – Teenage Instructional Video #1,” explaining the process with the drollest possible British sarcasm, such as “I know this is a difficult one” and “that might be a step too far.” Clearly the dude was sick of his kids’ laziness around the house, and it resonated with other frustrated parents, racking up four million views:
Reid, who is actually selling clothes and mugs based on the video, has just returned with his follow-up, “Dishwasher Loading – Teenage Instructional Video #2,” which moves the classroom from the bathroom to the kitchen for a lesson on…y’know…not leaving half-eaten s–t around the house for cockroaches and mice to narf up:
(If you think that’s a pain in the ass, try living in New York City, where dishwashers are a luxury and you’ll likely find yourself developing a love/hate relationship with Brillo Pads.)
We’re hoping Reid will continue with videos on such topics as picking clothes off the floor, taking out the trash instead of building a gigantic stack of it, and wiping urine-soaked curly hairs off the toilet seat. That’s a difficult one.
But perhaps these videos are a little unfair? Perhaps they’re based on insulting, ageist stereotypes?
Nope. Personally, I wish I’d had ‘em when I was younger. See, I didn’t have any brothers or sisters. My friend who lived across the street had two siblings. Arithmetic might suggest that I’d have way more chores than he did, but arithmetic would be wrong, because only children are spoiled brats. From elementary school to high school, my friend constantly had to mow the lawn or shovel the driveway or wash the cars, whereas I…um…maybe I fed the dog once?
Not gonna lie, it was a pretty great, carefree childhood. Except for one problem: When I moved into my first apartment after college, I had absolutely no idea how to do anything. I couldn’t even boil water or turn on an oven. After a year, I developed breathing problems — I always felt like I was suffocating — and I even went to the Emergency Room, but the doctors couldn’t figure out the issue, which didn’t stop them from charging thousands of dollars.
A week later, I mentioned the breathing difficulties to a friend. (Not the same friend who had to do all the chores, though that would make for a better story. Whatever.)
“Marty,” he said, “when’s the last time you vacuumed your apartment?”
“Vacuumed…?” I asked.
“OK. When’s the last time you cleaned your sheets?”
“Wait,” I said, “I’m supposed to clean my sheets?!”
“Vacuum your f–king apartment,” he suggested, “and clean your f–king sheets.”
Long story short: Watch these videos, guys. They just might save your life.
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