Whether you’re the breaker or the broken, breaking up is tough — especially in that initial period after you’ve gone your separate ways. Guys don’t always handle it like gentlemen, but girls can likewise create unnecessary post-relationship drama. Here’s what dudes find the most awful, humiliating and gut-wrenching after a split…
Related: The Worst Things Guys Can Do During A Breakup, From A Girl’s Perspective
Spreading gossip to embarrass him
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OK, so maybe he wasn’t the best boyfriend ever. Maybe he deserved to be dumped. But unless he was abusive, it’s not fair to tell everyone about all his bad qualities — especially if it’s, y’know, his lacking size or stamina. There’s a certain agreement among two people in a relationship that if and when it ends, you’ll both show a little discretion about the intimate details.
Rebounding with his friends
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In normal circumstances, what you decide to do after you’ve broken up is none of his business — if he gets mad at you for hooking up, he’s being possessive. But if you sleep with any of his boys, you’ve made it his business. (And when it comes to feeling like a complete loser, business is booming.)
Using social media to throw it in his face
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Nowadays, relationships almost aren’t official — or officially over — until stated so on Facebook. As much as it hurts a guy to see “______ is no longer in a relationship with you,” that stings a lot less than seeing himself tagged in photos of you with a new, buffer dude. Yeah, living well is the best revenge, but don’t be that obvious about trying to make him jealous — it’s bad karma. Better to just un-friend and leave him none the wiser.
Not giving him enough space
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Then again, if you un-friend his Facebook, you won’t know whether he’s moved on. If you dumped him, then you probably want him to find someone else — and if he dumped you, then you might want the exact opposite.
Either way, that “just wanted to check how you’re doing” message can wait. Emailing, texting, calling and showing up at his place is going to freak him out right now. That’s not the way a breakup should work — you need to completely remove yourselves from each other’s lives for awhile.
Related: Here’s The Surprising Scientific Reason Why Men Are Attracted To Big Butts
Telling him to eff off when he sincerely tries to apologize
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That doesn’t mean you have to take him back; in all likelihood, nothing would change if you two got back together. But if he wants to express real remorse over something dumb he said, or for just generally being a selfish a-hole — and if he didn’t do anything truly terrible, like sleeping with your roommate — then maybe he deserves a chance to grovel and earn a little forgiveness?
Because we always assume our ex thinks the worst of us. And that’s why a breakup is the worst.
Aaron Goldfarb
Aaron Goldfarb is the author of the upcoming “The Guide for a Single Man” and “The Guide for a Single Woman”.
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