November 25, 2024

Katniss Versus Tris: Who Would Win?

It’s just about time we acknowledged something that we all know, in our deepest, most secret hearts, is true: There’s at least one area in which Jennifer Lawrence is not the best.

WHAT!? We know, we know. Let us explain.

The upcoming release of “

Tris, the leading lady of “Divergent,” goes from a meek young woman unsure of her place in the world, unable to stand up to her own parents, to a woman who can stand unflinchingly while a pile of muscle literally throws knives at her face. Oh, and she did the knife-throwing thing voluntarily. She’s still unsure of her place in the world, but she takes steps to remedy that, questioning authority and quietly taking leadership as her own right.

And then there’s Katniss. Everyone loves Katniss, but here’s the thing: She’s just not that awesome at staying alive on her own. Through both “The Hunger Games” and “Catching Fire,” girlfriend hasn’t changed much: Choices are typically made for her, she views most people as incidental (didn’t see you there, Gale) and she tends to get saved, rather than doing the saving.

In the first movie, she dodged death, ironically, by trying to commit suicide, which she was cool with, and in the second movie, she had to be literally stabbed in the arm, knocked unconscious and abducted by revolutionary forces to make it out of the arena alive. Then, she becomes the reluctant figurehead of a revolution that she has little to no interest in.

What we’re trying to say is that Tris could totally take Katniss in an arm wrestling match.

Emotional/self-worth asskickery aside, Tris joins Dauntless and gets built, while Katniss, what, shoots her bow and arrow repeatedly? Gets Peeta to teach her how to paint her face? Tris is all, brb, jumping on and off this train and scaling this giant Ferris Wheel, while Katniss is like, leave me alone, I’m taking a nap in a tree until the mean kids go away.

We’ll have to wait until Friday to see how “Divergent” stacks up at the box office, but we can already say with confidence that in a Katniss-Tris matchup, the Dauntless girl takes the cake. What do you think?

Who do you think would win in a fight?

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