December 20, 2024

We Wrote Some Hunky Haikus About ’22 Jump Street’

Some things are just so beautiful that there’s only one way to talk about them: In disciplined verse. You know what’s so beautiful?

Channing Tatum, for one.

Laughter is also a beautiful thing. As it so happens, there’s something coming up that involves both the very pleasant looking Tatum and the gift to the world that is a good belly laugh.

That’s right, we’re about to get real poetic about “22 Jump Street.” Handle it.

We’re sure that the Japanese poets of yesteryear never imagined that their regimented triplet form of poetry, the 5-7-5 pattern, would be used to gush about shirtless dudes, explosions, parkour and making out with Ice Cube’s daughter, but we like to think that somewhere out there, they’re nodding in approval.

Without further ado, please enjoy our very special “22 Jump Street” haikus, starring Tatum and Dave Franco. (He may be in prison, but he’s still handsome.)

Dave4Channing1DaveFranco5

Channing-2
(Note: Technically not a haiku.)

DaveFranco3DaveFranco2

“22 Jump Street” is in theaters now.

About the author  ⁄ Kase Wickman

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