We’re so close to “Total Ariana Live” on Wednesday, July 2, that I can literally taste it. (It tastes like whipped cream, but the kind that you unleash straight out of the can, upside-down with your head tilted back while the fridge door is still open. THAT.) There’s just one problem: That still leaves, like, soooooooo many hours until Ariana Grande graces our screens. HOW WILL WE SURVIVE!?
Oh, I know. Why not channel all that nervous energy into something productive, like repeating the “One less problem with out you…” hip-sway choreography in an empty, windowless room until we reach an eerie state of meditative calm.
Or, um, how about we just count down the ways in which the “Problem” singer is basically flaw-free? Yeah, let’s do that. Here are nine problems that Ariana Grande doesn’t have!
1.) Lip-Synching — It’s pretty hard to have a problem with something when you, like, never do it.
2.) Hitting The Club — Girlfriend celebrated her 21st birthday on July 26. You know where to find her!
3.) Having Famous Friends — Have you checked out the features on sophomore album My Everything? Along with Iggy Azalea, Ariana’s got Childish Gambino, The Weeknd, Zedd, and A$AP Ferg on there.
4.) Living Out Her “Barbarella” Fantasies — At least if that “Break Free” video teaser is any indication.
5.) Knowing Her Way Around A Ponytail — Just trust us on this one.
6.) Knowing Her Way Around A Fan — Source: the “Right There” video.
7.) Winning “Heads Up!” Too Much — At least not when she’s got her mom on her team. (SHOUT OUT TO JOAN GRANDE.)
8.) Being Able To Cover Herself With Dogs At Will — With Toulouse, Coco, and Ophelia, Ariana’s never lacking for a puppy blanket.
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9.) Reviving “TRL” — No offense to original “Total Request Live” host Carson Daly, but could he ever? Never. Don’t miss “Total Ariana Live” on Wednesday, July 2, at 7 p.m. on MTV!
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