by Evan Scott Schwartz 10 mins ago

Halloween costumes come in three flavors: Scary, sexy, and topical.

Want to scare folks? Slap some fake blood on a monster mask. Want to look sexy? Pick a profession and show your midriff. But topical costumes take work. They have to be relevant, recognizable, and — above all — FUNNY. Otherwise, you’re left trying to explain why you’ve shown up to the party in an “Austin Powers” costume for the 17th straight year — or trying to explain why you chose to offend everybody there and possibly everybody on the internet.

Related: What Not To Do On Halloween: Wear This Ebola Costume

So, here are the materials you’ll need to turn 2014 events, memes and celebs into awesome costumes that won’t seem dated and might actually make people laugh.

Bob Costas’ pink eye

NBC

What you’ll need:

A suit
Horn-rimmed glasses
Pink eye shadow
Sanctimonious attitude (optional)

Really lay on the pink to capture that, “Ew, he caught that from fecal particles” flavor.

Ashley Wagner

Getty Images

What you’ll need:

Tight ponytail
Sparkly skating suit
Woefully low judge’s cards
A whole lot of sass

You’ll need to perfect Ashley Wagner’s shade face after seeing her Winter Olympics scores. Get the look and stay icy.

World Cup player

Getty Images

What you’ll need:

Neymar Brazil jersey
Wacky wig
Back brace
Seven soccer balls

Or you could just put on basically any nation’s kit and spend the whole night diving on ...

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by Evan Scott Schwartz 8 mins ago

If you’re a member of a fandom, you know how intense the obsession can get. But what do celebs obsess over?

Sports! So many celebs with a devoted fan followings have their own devotions as well, and it’s pretty often a team. Here are some of your favorite fandom’s sporty fandoms.

Chris Pratt, Seattle Seahawks & Mariners

NBC

While Pratt’s character on “Park and Recreation is a huge Indianapolis Colts fan, the man himself great up near Seattle and loves the Super Bowl champion Seahawks and Seattle Mariners.

Jennifer Lawrence, Louisville Cardinals

MeetTheCards.com

J-Law grew up in Louisville, KY, and is a big fan of the University of Louisville Cardinals. She even narrated a hype video for them this summer. Her “Hunger Games” co-star Josh Hutcherson is a fan of the Kentucky Wildcats, AKA one of Louisville’s biggest rival. No doubt that made for some healthy trash talking on set.

Lady Gaga, New York Giants/Knicks/Yankees

Getty Images

The Mother Monster is a true New Yorker – she reps the Giants, Knicks and Yankees…but she’s also been known to “enjoy” a Mets game in the past.

Justin Bieber, Toronto Maple Leafs

Getty Images

Bieber is a bit of sports polygamist, rocking everything from Miami Heat ...

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by Evan Scott Schwartz 8 mins ago

No matter where you get a job, you’ll be expected to act in a certain way. Maybe you’ll have to wear a uniform (sorry, fast food employees), or have to use certain words with customers (looking at you, telemarketers). That’s to be expected. Some companies, though, have way more intense rules. Here are the oddest guidelines that employees are reportedly mandated or “encouraged” to follow…

American Apparel: Executives judge your photo

Getty Images

That’s former American Apparel CEO Dov Charney (who’s still a high-level consultant), an extremely controversial guy for myriad reasons, including several sexual harassment lawsuits. Leaked documents indicate that all job applicants must have “head to toe” pictures taken, and a former store manager alleges that “anyone [Charney personally] deems not good-looking enough to work there is encouraged to be fired. … Dov wants to weed out the ‘ugly people.’”

This policy allegedly stays in place after you’re hired as well. The company claims that it’s just making sure employees don’t look “off-brand.”

Related Video: “Workplace Behavior: Instant Messaging”

Abercrombie & Fitch: No “unnatural” haircuts

Getty Images

According to a “look policy” that Buzzfeed obtained, Abercrombie mandates specific “acceptable” hairstyles for employees — and just as many that are “unacceptable” for appearing “extreme.” The same appears to go for makeup, nail polish and even ...

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by Evan Scott Schwartz 25 mins ago

“Guardians Of The Galaxy” hits theaters this weekend, and the hype machine is in full effect. But when the film was first announced, the general reaction was… huh?

That’s because the Guardians are not exactly an A-List super team. They certainly aren’t on the level of the Fantastic Four or The Avengers. And they aren’t the Justice League, the DC team that engendered itself to generations of fans thanks to the 1970s cartoon series “Super Friends.”

In truth, comics are full of offbeat teams like the Guardians. They may not have raccoons or anthropomorphic trees as members, but they are plenty weird. Here are 13 of the strangest, least-effective, most-full-of-super-animals teams.

The Great Lakes Avengers

“The Avengers” featured Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, and several other A-list heroes saving New York. But hey, Detroit needs saving too (now more than ever). The Great Lakes Avengers are a Midwest version of the Avengers, featuring stars like Doorman, Flatman…Big Bertha…jeez. It seems superheroes are like NBA players: you have your superstars, a huge gap, and then everyone else.

The Bizarro League

DC Comics

In the DC universe, Bizarro is the mirror image of Superman. Superman is good, Bizarro is evil. Superman has heat vision, Bizarro has freeze vision. Superman hates green kryptonite, Bizarro hates blue kryptonite. And so on. Bizarro formed a squad of other bizarro versions of superheroes, including the “Yellow” Lantern, “Batzarro” and Bizarro Flash. Basically, no idea is too thin for ...

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by Evan Scott Schwartz 16 mins ago

Swimming pools are wonderful, magical places. They are also magnets for embarrassment. The slippery conditions, the lack of clothing, the feeling of invincibility — and all of those scantily clad hotties watching your every move. It’s a great place to get a sunburn and get humiliated.

If you’re at the pool with your friends, go nuts. But if there’s anyone there you remotely want to kiss, avoid setting yourself up for these pool fails at all costs.

1. Don’t Push

If you push someone, you’re going in after them. That’s pool karma 101.

2. Don’t Showboat

99% of pool fails come from ostentatious behavior of some kind, and if your knot is a little loose, a big spinning dive into the pool is the easiest way to show everyone exactly what “shrinkage” is. This guy’s shorts come off in mid-air because he just had to hot dog it, but at least he wore a backup pair underneath. Are you Michael Phelps? If yes, then hey man, nice job in the Olympics. If no, then don’t show off.

3. Don’t Belly Flop

A belly flop is a great way to make everyone laugh for about eight seconds (especially if they’re pranking you), and then a great way to spend the next hour in complete agony. And to the fat kids out there: Don’t do it, bro. Don’t exploit your fatness for laughs. She won’t decide she likes you because your big belly is red now.

4. Don’t Back Flip

Front flips are easy: Just jump and ...

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by Evan Scott Schwartz 1 hour ago

Sunburns are no laughing matter, if you have one. If someone else has one, though, they’re hilarious. We’ve tackled skin poisoning before, and even quizzed you on whether you can tell a sunburn from a lobster. But every day of summer, people figure out brand new ways to get the most painful temporary tattoos around. After checking out these ones, we won’t blame you for hiding in a bunker for a few months.

1. The Male Pattern Scald-ness

Flickr: CG Sorg

Walter White? Nah, just call this guy “Walter Crimson.”

2. The Give Me A Hand

AerialNoise

Your mom always told you not to pat yourself on the back, and here’s why.

3. The Tribal Tattoo

Is it modern art? Maybe. But he can’t hang this masterpiece in a museum after it peels off.

4. The Snack Attack

Eating ice cream and taking a nap are both nice on a hot day. But combining them means a terrible spoon burn and a big cup of melted sadness.

5. The Unburnt Bracelet

Flickr: Aine D

Pretty much the opposite of how our bullies tortured us with friction in elementary school.

6. The Discount Superman

A homemade “S” makes it look like you’re a hero on a budget. Get a real stencil if you insist on getting your Kal-El on!

7. The Tony The Tiger

They say you can’t change your stripes. They lied.

8. The Couples Burn

…and she complains ...

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by Evan Scott Schwartz 23 mins ago

It’s Roller Coaster Season! Unfortunately, for you office drones, broke fools and summer school denizens trapped behind a desk, the amusement park isn’t a reality.

But thanks to the magic of YouTube, you can make yourself feel incredibly sick and dizzy anyway! Here are 13 of the best POV videos of the biggest, tallest, fastest, and most gut-wrenching coasters around.

Get ready to get motion sickness from the safety of your cubicle.

Ultra Twister

This Japanese coaster seems to simulate how food travels down your small intestine. It may very well make your food go the opposite way.

Sky Scream

A classic example of a coaster name that basically describes the experience. You’ll scream, in the sky.

Hades

Named for the Greek god of the underworld, who was well-known for his love of amusement park rides.

Shivering Timbers

The only wooden coaster named after the concept of substandard wood. Or pirates, possibly. Either way it makes it extra scary.

Banshee

A legitimately terrifying video, with a floorless upside-down ride.

Takabisha

Touted as the world’s steepest roller coaster, Takabisha has a devastating 121 degree drop. Its name is the Japanese word for “domineering.” Try giving your girlfriend that “pet-name” and see if she pushes you off a 121 degree incline.

Helix

The helix shape is most famous as the shape of DNA. Try to think about the work of Watson and Crick while you get completely scrambled on this coaster.

Hair Raiser

Or possibly Lunch Raiser, depending on when you watch this.

Maverick

The visible water in this video just makes it scarier.

Steel Dragon 2000

A great name for ...

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