Whether we’re talking the Billboard charts or a sudden case of onstage pants-rippage, the Australian pop-punkers of 5 Seconds Of Summer are pretty much unstoppable right now. Not only did their self-titled first studio album debut at #1 last month, but they’ll be performing at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards this Sunday.

Related: Are The VMAs Ready For 5SOS?

Speaking of the VMAs, the “She Looks So Perfect” video has earned the band an Artist to Watch nomination at the ceremony, and “Don’t Stop” is up for the Best Lyric Video Moonman. So, yeah — I’d say that now is a pretty good time to count yourself among the 5SOS Family.

Whaddya say, 5SOS Fam? Sit-down dance party on three!

That’s why we felt morally compelled to create this video detailing each and every reason why we love 5SOS more than our own parents. (Sorry, Mom and Dad! You were bound to find out sooner or later.)

Sure, we could have just stopped at “LOOK AT THEM!”, but then we wouldn’t have gotten to obsess over the time that Calum duct-taped his pants back on after they unexpectedly split onstage, or the fact that the dudes all brush their teeth together before every show.

We really don’t talk about these things enough, TBQH.

Just in case you fall in with the fandom of one of 5SOS’ fellow Artist To Watch nominees, don’t worry — we’ve already given a similar ...

On Sunday, Mariah Carey announced that she’d be hitting the road in support of Me. I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse. (Oh my god, I am still not over that truly iconic album title.)

According to a press release on the “You Don’t Know What To Do” singer’s website, The Elusive Chanteuse Show will kick off in Tokyo (“a favorite stop for Carey”), on Oct. 4 followed by stops in China, Malaysia, Singapore, and the Philippines.

This tour, her first since 2009′s Angels Advocate Tour — not to mention her first time touring in Asia since 2006′s The Adventures Of Mimi — looks like it will be incredible and all, but does it have to be so elusive? Like, I’m always here for truth in advertising, but I’ll take an American tour date from Mariah over that any day.

As for the set list, the announcement promises: “an exciting mix of her biggest hits, fan-favorite album cuts, never-before-performed selections from her [14th studio album] and many more surprises!” What kind of surprises? “I can’t stop writing songs,” Mimi herself is quoted as saying, “so don’t be surprised if you hear a brand new song that I just wrote the night before the show in your city!”

Brand-new Mariah Carey tracks?

And there’s no chance I’ll be able to witness it live in the U.S.?

Well, at least the Lambs in Japan, China, Singapore, Malaysia, and the Philippines will have that chance.

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Lest you think that Ariana Grande was all sunshine and cupcake dresses since birth, she actually had a pretty heavy #dark streak growing up. As a recovering ninth-grade goth (Eyeliner? Check. Dyed black hair? Check. Siouxsie And The Banshees poster over my bed? Check. Fingerless fishnet gloves? To be honest, check.), this pleases me.

Related: Ariana Grande Braves Helmet Hair For Billboard Cover

Last night, Billboard released a sneak peek at their upcoming cover story on the “Break Free” singer. And while I loved learning about Ariana’s varied pop-cultural points of reference — ranging from Connie Francis and India.Arie to Marlene Dietrich and Madonna — I couldn’t help but obsess over the slightly morbid gothic flawlessness emanating from many of her quotes. Here are a few of my faves.

1.) Ariana describes herself as “a very weird little girl.”

2.) “I was like a mini-Helena Bonham Carter.”

3.) “I always wanted to have face paint on or be wearing a Freddy Krueger mask…”

4.) “…and I would carry a hockey stick around.”

5.) “For my fifth birthday party we had a ‘Jaws’ theme…”

6.) “…and all my friends left crying.”

Do you think she’ll bring any of that dark energy to her VMA performance?

I can’t wait to find out.

Related: Listen To Ariana Grande’s “My Everything” Song Teaser

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

You know how Taylor Swift always looks so unbelievably perfect when she leaves the gym?

GC Images via Getty Images

For reference, here’s the rest of us.

Well during the VMA performer’s “Late Night” interview on Thursday, host Seth Meyers finally got to the bottom of it. After joking that “That is how everyone looks when they come out of the gym,” Taylor revealed that all it takes to look that flawless post-workout is a change of clothes and a hairbrush.

Related: Remember When Taylor Swift Slayed The 2009 VMAs?

Something tells me she’s omitting a crucial step, like drinking a half-vial of pegacorn tears or something, but whatever. I’ll believe it.

Taylor’s Swift-liest secrets revealed!

I wonder what kinda flawlessness she’ll bring to the VMA stage on August 24…

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

A total of 10 days remain until Ariana Grande’s My Everything will be released on August 25, but thankfully the “Break Free” singer seems to understand how unfathomably trying this wait has been for her fans. That’s probably why she sneaked a couple of song teasers onto the Internet in the form of Instagram videos. Not to be ungrateful, but, um, maybe warn an Arianator first next time? Some of us might have been holding scalding-hot coffee in our hands…

Related: Unlock Lyrics From Ariana Grande’s My Everything

The first song is the title track off the VMA performer’s sophomore album, and it features a gorgeous orchestral intro that any classical Viennese composer would kill for. (Note to Ariana: If a man who calls himself Salieri approaches you — RUN.) The second new tune, posted on Thursday, is “Break Your Heart Right Back,” an infectious, snap-along jam that’s sure to fill the titular heartbreaker with gallons of regret.

Here’s the string section-backed “My Everything.”

Can it just, like, be August 25 yet? Thanks.

And here’s a taste of “Break Your Heart Right Back.”

It’s bestie Alexa-approved and everything.

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Earlier today, some eagle-eyed Swifties noticed a peculiar message left in the skies above New York City: “TAYLOR SWIFT YAHOO 4 DAYS.”

Most likely, a professional skywriter was hired to leave the puffy, white missive in order to promote Taylor Swift’s upcoming Yahoo live stream on August 18, but I’m kinda open to the idea that the VMA performer hopped onto her trusty pegacorn steed and hand-wrote the message in the clouds herself.

Taylor’s skywriting stunt caught New Yorkers totally by surprise.

A pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless.

Some even found the experience revelatory.

Others felt compelled to spread the gospel.

Seriously, Taylor, what have you got planned?

Ugh, guess we’ll have to wait until the livestream.

Related: 61 Times Taylor Swift Slayed The VMAs

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Take a few deep, cleansing breaths and brace your neck for maximum hair-whippage, Swifties, because Taylor Swift is officially performing at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards. Did you heed my advice? Good, because your hospital bill is not coming out of my paycheck.

Announced moments ago on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” the two-time VMA winner will take — nay, SLAY — The Forum stage on Sunday, August 24 at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT. She joins previously announced 2014 VMA performers Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea, Rita Ora, Beyoncé, Maroon 5, Usher, 5 Seconds Of Summer, and Ariana Grande, along with Pre-Show performers Fifth Harmony. (Does somebody have my Life Alert bracelet? Because I’ve fallen and I can’t get up after running through that star-studded performance roster.)

Wait. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of approximately a bah-jillion Taylor Swift fans rapidly flapping their metaphorical hummingbird wings to the bass-drop beat of “I Knew You Were Trouble” and head-banging to “All Too Well” in anticipation. Why? Because in case you haven’t been keeping track, this is the fourth VMA performance of Taylor Swift’s career. And she’s slayed every VMA moment so far.

Wait, Taylor Swift? Actually, more like Slaylor Swift! UP TOP!

Oh, and you’d better believe that I’ve got the photographic evidence to back up this obviously true claim.

Presenting the 61 Times Taylor Swift (a.k.a. ...

Naya Rivera and her new husband, actor Ryan Dorsey, made their first official public appearance together since getting married in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on July 19.

The reason for their outing? Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience World Tour stop at Los Angeles’ Staples Center, where fellow “Glee” co-stars Lea Michele and Nolan Gerald Funk were also spotted in attendance. Needless to say, I’m sending the 33-year-old entertainer about a million “THANK YOU FOR THESE PHOTOS” cookie bouquets as we speak. But first, um, where does JT live?

Naya arrives in incredibly glamorous, swoopy-hat style.

Winston Burris/WENN.com

Then posed with husband Ryan Dorsey at a private Hyde Lounge event.

John Shearer/Invision/AP

Naya even took a bringing-sexy-back selfie with “Glee” co-star Nolan Gerald Funk.

Instagram (@nolanfunk)

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Want some good news? Jessie J, Nicki Minaj, and Ariana Grande have filmed the video for “Bang Bang.” Want some better news? They paused shooting with director Benny Boom to take a quick selfie together, and it’s pretty overwhelming — an incredible work of art TBH. Throw out your Koons balls. Burn your Picassos. That means you, Jay Z.

The “Anaconda” rapper posted the photo on Instagram, calling Jessie a “stunning class act” and Ariana “a cute liddle lady bug” in the caption. Her British collaborator re-grammed the pic, and so did Ari. The “Break Free” singer added that she’s “living” for the other two ladies, who she described as “both so down to earth and fierce.”

Presenting the one selfie to rule them all.

Instagram

Here’s Nicki chilling with director Benny Boom.

Instagram

You seriously must listen to “Bang Bang” if you haven’t yet.

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

When most parents encourage their kids to pursue their musical interests, they usually only get a pretty OK oboe recital back in return. (Fine, and pride because unconditional love is real.) The parents of The Vamps, however, probably had a lot to gloat about at their PTA meetings back in the day.

In their short time on the music scene, the four members of this British pop/rock outfit — from left to right, that’s guitarist James McVey, bassist Connor Ball, lead singer Bradley Simpson, and drummer Tristan Evans — have already done their fair share of topping charts and taking names, and they’ve only just begun. So take that, “My child is an honor roll student” bumper stickers of the world.

1.) Who they are:

Virgin EMI

How did The Vamps form? Long story short, because the Internet. Long story less short, James was looking to start a band, and found Bradley over YouTube. Tristan hit up James on Facebook after seeing his and Bradley’s cover videos, and Connor joined in not long after. “YouTube opened all of this for us,” James says in a release. “Without it, we wouldn’t be a band.”

The Vamps started small, posting covers of everyone from Hanson to The Arctic Monkeys on YouTube, and soon they signed with EMI. Their first album, Meet The Vamps, was released in the U.K. last spring, and their debut American release, the Somebody ...