Want a map that leads to Adam Levine, James Valentine and the rest of Maroon 5′s favorite hangout spots? Well, stop trying to track it down because that’s kinda sorta borderline creepy. Besides, there’s a way easier, far more legal way to land some quality time with the six dudes.

Presenting MTV’s Ultimate Fan Experience, which will bring one lucky winner and a guest face to face with the “Animals” themselves.

Enter MTV’s Ultimate Fan Experience here!

If you win, you and a friend will fly out to Nashville, meet the band, sit front row at a Maroon 5 show, get a backstage tour, nab a set of autographed merch from the coveted tour closet and a $100 Applebee’s gift card.

Just think, this could be you looking all handsome and aloof in front of a gorgeous, old-school automobile. Enter UFE.MTV.com for a chance to win.

Interscope Records

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

It’s official: Calvin Harris will perform at the 2014 MTV EMA.

The hit-making mastermind behind “Summer” will take the stage at the SSE Hydro arena in his native Scotland on Sunday, November 9, although the same cannot necessarily be said about his shirt given his past aversion to all manner of tees and button-ups.

Related: 2014 MTV EMA Nominations — Get The Full List

But you should definitely hold onto your shirt, though, because Calvin isn’t the only artist being added to the performance lineup. Breakout stars Charli XCX, Kiesza and Royal Blood are all going to perform at the 2014 EMA, too. You are now free to rip your shirts off and roam about in a fugue-like state of excitement.

The EMA will air on MTV channels worldwide, and the U.S. telecast will kick off live from Miami at 7:00 p.m. ET/PT with Nick Cannon and Molly Tarlov and a “Jealous” performance from Nick Jonas. Back in Glasgow, metal legend Ozzy Osbourne will be honored with the Global Icon Award. Previously announced performers include Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande and Ed Sheeran. The “Anaconda” rapper will also serve as the host of the 2014 EMA.

Related: Check Out Highlights From The 2013 MTV EMA

In case you’re not totally familiar with each of the four newly announced EMA performers, this quick primer will help get ...

Now that his tour has wrapped, Austin Mahone has plenty of time on his hands. Time to go see Drake and Lil Wayne live. Time to hit the recording studio (with Hailee Steinfeld). And most of all, time to just think…

The “Secret” singer Instagrammed a new photo of himself on Wednesday (October 15) in which he appears super lost in thought.

What’s on your mind, buddy?

Instagram (@austinmahone)

Since Austin didn’t caption the pensive picture, whatever’s racing through his mind is anyone’s guess. Could he be fixated on how terrifying it can be to enter adulthood? Or maybe he’s just secretly lol-ing at Michelle Obama’s “Turnip For What” video under his breath?

Either way, it’s gotta be something worth pondering. In the past, he has said: “If you’re going to get lost in a moment. Then let it be in a moment that will last forever.” Deep. Really makes you think, huh?

Hmmmmmmmm.

Instagram (@austinmahone)

Hmmmmmmmm.

Instagram (@austinmahone)

Yeah.

Instagram (@austinmahone)

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

If you often find yourself in a state of “LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN,” you might want to sit down. Why? Because Patrick Stump’s wife, Elisa Yao, just gave birth to their baby, and he’s face-punchingly adorable.

Say hello to the Fall Out Boy frontman’s first and only son, Declan.

Can you even? No, you cannot.

Twitter (@TheEllenShow)

Surprisingly, the “Immortals” singer wasn’t the one to break the news. That honor belonged to Ellen DeGeneres, who tweeted out the infant’s photo on Wednesday (October 15), writing: “It’s a boy! Actually, it’s a @FallOutBoy.”

Expect to see that joke approximately 70 bajillion more times in the next 24 hour.

The daytime host also added: “Congrats @PatrickStump and welcome baby Declan! See y’all in 2 weeks.!” Hours old, and he’s already booked his first gig. When will your bb?

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Were you casually browsing the latest selection of iPad manuals earlier today? (You were? Really? Well, OK then.) Because apparently you saw something Apple didn’t want you to see yet.

Apple news site 9to5Mac reports that on Wednesday (October 15), screenshots for the iOS 8.1 iPad user guide surfaced on the iTunes Store, allegedly depicting the as yet unseen iPad Air 2 and iPad mini 3.

Are these alleged iPad Air 2 and iPad mini 3 screenshots legit?

9to5Mac

If these screengrabs prove to be real, then Apple fans can expect both models to feature Touch ID sensors in the Home button.

Another of the alleged stills indicates that the iPad Air 2 will offer Burst Mode, which allows users to take 10 photos per second.

Burst Mode, eh?

9to5Mac

We’ll likely find out how accurate these product descriptions are at Apple’s much-hyped event on October 16, where they are rumored to officially debut the newest additions to the iPad family.

Hey, the surprise could have been worse. At least it wasn’t not another unsolicited U2 album.

Related: Bono’s Response To That Whole Free Album Thing? “Oops”

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

By the time you read this, it might be too late. Soon, everyone you know will be completely enamored with Nick Jonas. Your mom, your dad, your seventh-grade art teacher who smelled like patchouli — no one is safe. Why didn’t we listen to Iggy Azalea when we had the chance?

Related: Nick Jonas Will Perform At The EMA Kickoff

The “Beg For It” rapper took to Twitter on Wednesday (October 15) to air out her premonition: “in the last 2 wks all of my female friends have developed crushes on nick jonas and Im starting to think we have an epidemic on our hands.”

In response, the “Jealous” singer simply tweeted: “Uh oh!” What else are you supposed to say when your rarely clothed upper body brings the world’s population to its knees, one victim at a time?

I, for one, welcome our new Jonas Brother overlord. Now, if only he would release those two new Australia-exclusive songs, “Teacher” and “Wilderness,” in the U.S. That would definitely make this whole Armageddon thing go down easier.

Related: Snoop Dogg Apologizes To Iggy Azalea After A Call From T.I.

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Because nightmares are real, two Minnesota teenagers received a surprise visit from a super-drunk guy dressed up as a zombie-fied version of Santa Claus last weekend.

Did he come bearing gifts at least? Nope, not unless you count vomiting and passing out on the nearest sleep-able surface. Which I don’t.

The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reports that the straight-to-DVD slasher wannabe is actually a 21-year-old student at St. Paul’s University of St. Thomas. Like many young people in the area, he spent last Saturday (October 11) bar-hopping in costume around Minneapolis as part of a Zombie Pub Crawl. Unlike many young people in the area, he ended his night by entering a stranger’s house to find a place to sleep.

One of the two teens at home, a 16-year-old, locked herself in the bathroom, while her 14-year-old brother ran out for help.

When authorities arrived to retrieve the Tim Burton-esque monstrosity, he had no idea where he was, says police spokesman Sgt. Paul Paulos, and he was taken to a detoxification center. The UST senior was cited for trespassing.

Did you lock your door?

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Because nightmares are real, two Minnesota teenagers received a surprise visit from a super-drunk guy dressed up as a zombie-fied version of Santa Claus last weekend.

Did he come bearing gifts at least? Nope, not unless you count vomiting and passing out on the nearest sleep-able surface. Which I don’t.

The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reports that the straight-to-DVD slasher wannabe is actually a 21-year-old student at St. Paul’s University of St. Thomas. Like many young people in the area, he spent last Saturday (October 11) bar-hopping in costume around Minneapolis as part of a Zombie Pub Crawl. Unlike many young people in the area, he ended his night by entering a stranger’s house to find a place to sleep.

One of the two teens at home, a 16-year-old, locked herself in the bathroom, while her 14-year-old brother ran out for help.

When authorities arrived to retrieve the Tim Burton-esque monstrosity, he had no idea where he was, says police spokesman Sgt. Paul Paulos, and he was taken to a detoxification center. The UST senior was cited for trespassing.

Did you lock your door?

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Ariana Grande is heading to the silver screen — well, at least her voice is.

On Tuesday (October 14), it was announced that the “Love Me Harder” singer had been cast in the upcoming English-language version of the computer-animated Argentine film “Underdogs.” Joining her are Matthew Morrison (a.k.a. Mr. Schue from “Glee”), Nicholas Hoult of “Skins” fame and the immortal Josephine Potter Katie Holmes.

Here’s Ariana’s character, Laura.

Universal Pictures International

The English version of the Juan José Campanella picture will also feature the voices of John Leguizamo, Eugenio Derbez, Taran Killam, Bobby Moynihan and Chazz Palminteri.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the film, which was originally released en Español as “Metegol” in 2013: “centers on a shy but talented foosball player (Morrison) who must defend his town and the girl he loves, Laura (Grande), from [the] nefarious soccer player Ace (Hoult).” His secret weapon? Figures on his foosball table that magically come to life.

Completely here for the animated foosball movie of our generation. “Underdogs” is expected to hit theaters on April 10, 2015.

Watch the original, Spanish-language trailer for “Metegol”/”Underdogs.”

Related: Ariana Grande Says Big Sean Is “One Of The Most Amazing Men” In The World

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

Because idle fans are the Devil’s playthings, Taylor Swift has begun teasing lyrics to a new song off of her upcoming fifth studio album, 1989.

Remember, it hasn’t even been a full day since the “Shake It Off” singer debuted “Out Of The Woods.” I think I speak for Swifties everywhere when I say: REST IN PEACE, ME. R.I.P., ME. I DIED. DEAD.

Taylor Instagrammed the words to the as-yet-unnamed 1989 song on Tuesday (October 14). Under a city skyline sketched with pen on lined paper, she has written: “It’s a new soundtrack/ I could dance to this beat/ …forevermore.” In the caption, she notes that it will be “Track 1.”

Instagram (@taylorswift)

Over on Twitter, some fans are speculating that it’s an ode to the singer’s new hometown, New York City. Tay has been completely Big Apple-obsessed ever since she moved to her newly acquired penthouse in Tribeca earlier this year. And why wouldn’t she be obsessed? She lives in a penthouse in Tribeca.

Does this mean Taylor’s going to reveal a new batch of lyrics on Instagram every day until she’s teased all 13 songs from 1989? I already don’t know what to do with my body.

Big Machine

John Walker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.