If you thought that there could be no worse “Titanic“-related atrocity than the moment at which Rose, who could have totally made some room on that door for her waterlogged true love, let his frozen, lifeless body slip away into the depths of the Atlantic, then we’re sorry to report that you had better brace yourself for the movie’s alternate ending, which has finally made its way onto YouTube.

Because it is worse. It is so, so much worse.

This scene was apparently available as an extra on the “Titanic” DVD which came out in 2005, but the internet has only just become aware of it, to the internet’s great dismay. In it, the elderly Rose is confronted by Bill Paxton and his band of bros just as she’s about to drop the Heart of the Ocean into its watery grave — thus giving her a chance to blow his mind with some hardcore grandma wisdom about the value of a life being measured in experience, not multi-million-dollar diamond necklaces. (Conspicuously missing: A followup scene in which Bill explains this life lesson to whomever funded his very expensive excursion into the icy depths of the Titanic wreckage in a submarine with robot arms.)

No matter how much the original ending of “Titanic” broke our hearts, you won’t catch us complaining about it again. Watch the alternate ending below and tell us if you agree:

Kat Rosenfield @katrosenfield

Robert Downey, Jr. stopped by “The Tonight Show” Wednesday to promote his new movie, “The Judge,” but while he was there, he and Jimmy Fallon took some time out to sit on a snowy mountaintop and ponder the mysteries of the universe. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for an Intense Staredown.

RDJ seems to peer into our very souls as he makes sexual overtures toward an osprey, battles a recalcitrant sneeze, and finally concludes with a 1990s alt-rock reference that we totally did not see coming. Our chi is flowing like whoa right now.

Kat Rosenfield @katrosenfield

“American Horror Story” returns tonight — which means you can spend all day quivering with anticipation, and all night screaming in abject terror. This year’s installment, “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” promises all the creepy, campy shenanigans we’ve come to know and love over the past three years, with a few added twists that might just make it the best season yet. But if you still need a good reason to tune in, one of these should do the trick.

1. Jessica Lange is going to look, and be, amazeballs.
Whether she’s playing a Supreme witch, a supreme bitch, or a nun with a secret past and a penchant for red lingerie, the grande dame of “American Horror Story” never fails to look completely fabulous. And since this is her last season on the show, you know that Ryan Murphy will have spared nothing when it comes to giving her as many amazing things to wear (and as much scenery to chew) as she can handle.

2. Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, and Gabourey Sidibe are back, too.
These ladies elevated the last season of “American Horror Story” to a whole new level — especially Bates, who seemed to be really relishing her screen time as Madame Delphine LaLaurie. This season, she’ll be one of the show’s collection of “unusuals”. We hear she’s wearing a beard!

3. And let’s not forget the rest of the remarkable cast.
The last time a sideshow this diverse and incredible was assembled onscreen, ...

Perhaps because the producers of “American Horror Story: Freak Show” thought that a casting notice for a seven-foot tall woman would be too tough a sell, they wrote the role of the show’s big lady for a male actor — which meant that Erika Ervin, the giantess model known on the series and in real life as Amazon Eve, had to take some interesting measures in order to get her foot in the door.

“I auditioned for the part as a guy,” Ervin says, in this latest behind-the-scenes “Extra-Ordinary Artists” video from AHS creator Ryan Murphy. “[I] slicked back my hair, no makeup, flannel shirt, bound my breasts, dropped my voice, and walked in — and nailed it.”

For Ervin, who came out as transgender in 2004, joining the cast of “American Horror Story” has been part of a deeply personal journey: one she began in hiding, but is ending in the spotlight. After her family was hard-hit by the AIDS crisis in the 1980s and 1990s — her mother was a nurse who died from the disease after accidentally pricking her finger with an infected needle — Ervin did not find support at home when she transitioned, and ten years later, the cruel rejection clearly still stings. Her voice breaks as she says, “My family literally wrote back and said, do not write, do not call, you’re not welcome in our home.”

Since then, Ervin has used her formidable body to great success, including holding a Guinness World Record for ...

Ever since J.K. Rowling tweeted a cryptic, anagrammed hint about her latest project earlier this week, fans have been racking their brains for answers about what the “Harry Potter” author might be up to. And thanks to the savvy work of hundreds of internet sleuths, now we know:

Shenanigans.

Fans didn’t take long to uncover the secret message hidden in Rowling’s bizarre tweet, which read, “Cry, foe! Run amok! Fa awry! My wand won’t tolerate this nonsense.” And you might want to hold onto something, because what you’re about to read will shake the foundations of your very existence.

Needless to say, Potterheads everywhere began immediately losing their sorcery-loving minds over the possibility of a Harry comeback. Could the Boy Who Lived be making a cameo in her “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” screenplay, perhaps? Or, alternately (we write with trembling fingers) could the unnamed new novel she’s working on be a return to the wizarding world?!

Well, not so fast. The problem with anagrams is, sometimes they can decrypt into multiple different permutations. And after fans flooded her replies with guesses, Rowling returned with two more tweets:

In short, J.K. Rowling might be writing a Harry Potter comeback, or she might be writing something about magical fauna for her first screenplay, but she is definitely having way too much fun messing with our heads.

Kat Rosenfield @katrosenfield