If you’ve been looking for just the right words with which to woo the great Khal in your life, then look no further than the latest, greatest product to emerge from the “Game of Thrones” universe: a living language course in conversational Dothraki.

The course, created by David Peterson, is a completely legit language program, complete with a learning CD and a handy dictionary — y’know, for when you’re on the road in the land of the horse lords, where wifi service can be spotty.

Aspiring Dothraki speakers can immerse themselves in lessons to learn vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation, and conjugation, as well as some important cultural mores so as not to inadvertently offend one’s Dothraki hosts. (Pro tip: Don’t offer the Khal a haircut.) And because we at MTV News would never endorse a product without trying it, we’ve used our newfound talent for Dothraki to put together a useful sample conversation for you to try yourself.

M’ath! Hash yer dothrae chek?
Hi! How are you?

Anha dothrak check. Anha dothrak adahkhatoon hatifi san.
I’m fine. I have just eaten many faces.

Voescchi! Me nem nesa yer vo adahki hatifi.
No way! It is known that you don’t eat faces.

Yer ojila!
You’re wrong!

Anha dothrak adahkhatoon hatif Barry.
I just ate Barry’s face.

Mae hatif zhokwa.
His face was big.

Anha adahkish chekosshi
I ate very well.

San athchomari yeraan!
Much respect!

Yer hatif zhokwa. Yer allayafi anna.
Your face is big. I like you.

Anha vaddrivak yera m’asikhtek khadokh.
I will kill you and spit on your corpse.

Want to learn Dothraki? The Living ...

Hypothetically speaking, if you were going to find out that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was starring in a “Baywatch” movie, how would you most prefer to receive said information?

Would it be in the form of a photo, perhaps? Say, one featuring The Rock sitting jauntily astride a SeaDoo wearing naught but a pair of swim trunks, accompanied by evocative, titillating hashtags including #WhoNeedsMouthToMouth and #RedShortsBeHugginABrotha?

WELL.

Go on, it’s okay. You can weep at the utter perfection.

This pic went up overnight (October 2) on The Rock’s instagram account, accompanied by an announcement from the actor that “Rumors are true… we’re making #BAYWATCH the movie. Edgy, raunchy and hopefully, funny as all hell. Cue slo mo running on the beach…”

…and cue more weeping at the realization that all our dreams are coming true.

Kat Rosenfield @katrosenfield

It’ll be another year before “X-Men: Apocalypse” kicks into high gear, but James Marsden already knows exactly who should play the younger incarnation of his “X-Men” character, Cyclops.

In an interview with our friends at MTV UK, the actor who originally brought the laser-eyed mutant to life onscreen nearly 15 years ago was quick to recommend none other than Luke Bracey — who, coincidentally, already has quite a lot of experience in the fine art of playing a younger James Marsden.

“I would campaign for my younger self from ‘The Best of Me’ to play Cyclops, and that’s Luke Bracey, a fantastic young Australian actor,” Marsden said. “He’s the first person who comes to mind, ’cause he just played me younger in this film.”

We believe this is an A+ idea and endorse it wholeheartedly; in fact, it would be totally cool with us if James Marsden and Luke Bracey spent the rest of their lives playing the same character at different times in their lives, which is a multigenerational feast for the eyeballs that anyone would enjoy.

Meanwhile, James has plenty to say about “X-Men” and its unique place in the pantheon of superhero flicks. Watch the rest of the interview above to hear his thoughts as a veteran of the franchise.

Kat Rosenfield @katrosenfield

Last week, “Gone Girl” was treated to a host of glowing early reviews. This week, the entire internet was abuzz over the onscreen appearance-or-not of Ben Affleck’s wiener. And today, the movie arrives in theaters riding high on a veritable wave of anticipation. But will all that advance excitement translate to a roaring box-office success?

With a critical mass of cultural commentators now having officially weighed in, it looks like the answer is a resounding yes. Here’s what the critics have to say about David Fincher’s latest.

Rosamund Pike will wow you.
“Rosamund Pike will come as more of a surprise. Her previous roles have hinted at her intelligence and ability — she even made audiences believe she was in love with a cigar-chomping Paul Giamatti in ‘Barney’s Version’ — but this is the juiciest role she has had to date, and she makes a meal of it. Everyone who sees ‘Gone Girl’ will walk out raving about Rosamund Pike.” — Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle

Expect to laugh, and feel weird about it.
“The most intriguing thing about ‘Gone Girl’ is how droll it is. For long stretches, Fincher’s gliding widescreen camerawork, immaculate compositions and sickly, desaturated colors fuse with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’s creepy-optimistic synthesized score to create a perverse big-screen version of one of those TV comedies built around a pathetically unobservant lump of a husband and his hypercontrolling, slightly shrewish wife. For most of its running time, ‘Gone Girl’ is ‘Everybody Loves Accused Wife-Murderer Raymond,’ ...

By now, you should be most of the way through the complex emotional process of accepting that more “Twilight” movies are in the works — which means that it’s time to start looking ahead to more important things, like entering the contest to direct one of them.

As MTV News reported earlier this week a multi-phase competition is in the works to find five aspiring female filmmakers, who will be selected by a panel of powerful women — among them Stephenie Meyer, Kristen Stewart, Kate Winslet, Octavia Spencer, and “Twilight” director Catherine Hardwicke — to direct short films featuring characters from the “Twilight” universe. And while no details have been released yet about exactly when and how the contest will kick off, it’s never too early to start studying up on your “Twilight” moviemaking technique, with this list of essential tips.

1. Make sure you know the difference between a Denali and a Volturi.

2. Re-read every “Twilight” book to get totally immersed in the Twiliverse.

3. Buy body glitter in bulk.

4. Also, red contact lenses.

5. Start scouting multi-million dollar homes, Brazilian private islands, and secret underground enclaves in Italy for your characters to hang out in.

6. Remember: vampires prefer to hunt in haute couture, so budget for wardrobe accordingly.

7. Give Charlie Swan’s mustache as much screen time as possible. It’s a crowdpleaser.

8. Use a green filter to ...