When Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook, he used a photo of actor Al Pacino to represent his vision. (Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Michael Corleone/Tony Montana/Jack Kevorkian?) As of yesterday, Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel may wish he’d done the same.

Back in 2011, Spiegel and Snapchat co-founder Robert Murphy asked sisters Sarah and Elizabeth Turner — 18 and 19 years old at the time — to pose for some photos at a beach, according to their new lawsuit against the company, as TMZ originally reported (with the classy-as-always headline, “YOU MADE US WHORE FACES”). The sisters signed a model release, they say, but didn’t ask for any money because it was just a quick favor to help with a “class project.”

Related: 27 SnapChats That Perfectly Explain College

So, what’s the problem? They didn’t realize Spiegel’s and Murphy’s Stanford homework assignment (a Snapchat predecessor called Picaboo) would eventually become the world’s most popular d–k pic delivery system.

Being associated with the application has permanently “tainted” the sisters’ reputation, the lawsuit claims, especially since they show up in Google results for “the offensive slur ‘snapchat sluts.’” (Pro tip: You DON’T wanna do a Google image search for that phrase at work.)

This lawsuit might not help on that front — it’s likely to create a bunch of headlines with their names and “Snapchat sluts” — but you have to admit, showing someone’s photo to your teacher is a lot different than showing it to ...

Batman just wouldn’t be Batman without his unquenchable thirst for vengeance. Yeah, sure, it’s too bad that he had the most traumatic childhood ever, but Gotham City would be left without a protector if Bruce had grown up not brooding and trembling with rage all the time.

With Monday’s (September 22) premiere of “Gotham” on Fox, viewers were treated yet again (maybe “treated” isn’t quite the right word for it?) to the Dark Knight’s origin story — the very beginning of it, anyway — just like in the original 1989 “Batman” film, “Batman Begins,” “Batman: Arkham Origins” and many, many more. Even the squeaky-clean 1970s “Super Friends” cartoon has young Master Bruce losing his parents.

Related: ‘Gotham’ Cast Reveals Which Batman Bad Guys They Want To See Next

Well, New York Magazine’s Vulture blog has collected (and overlapped!) all of these scenes in one super, super f–ked-up supercut. It’s a Thomas and Martha Wayne massacre, and is basically the opposite of Prozac:

You think there’s a chance Zack Snyder will leave this out of “Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice“? Note to the Wayne family of future Batman timelines and universes: Maybe you should stay the hell out of a place called “Crime Alley,” even though you probably won’t?

Related: Ben Affleck’s Batman Will Hulk Out In ‘Dawn Of Justice’

Marty Beckerman @martybeckerman

You know nothing, Thomas McGowan.

Police in Wichita Falls, Texas are charging the 25-year-old with breaking into the home of Jimmy Morgan, Jr. And he might’ve gotten away with it, too, if Morgan weren’t one of those guys who takes “Game of Thrones” very, very seriously — enough to own a bunch of weapons worthy of Westeros.

“[McGowan] was standing no more than two to three feet away from me,” Morgan told news station KFDX, adding, “I don’t have a firearm [but] I have a short spear, very quick, very agile and very deadly.” Morgan belongs to a “medieval fighting” club, and “we do use spears and swords and things of that nature.”

Don’t believe him? Just watch these sweet moves:

I can taste the Valyrian steel from here.

Related: ‘Game Of Thrones’ Shocker: Tywin Lannister Is Back For Season 5, But How?

So, what happens when you storm Castle Black [or the double wide trailer owned by a man of the Night's Watch]? This:

Morgan says he only stabbed McGowan once, at which point McGowan just wanted to get the hell out of there: “As he was running, he smeared blood from here to high heaven and he splattered here and he splattered there and splattered all over there. It was like a deer.”

Police arrested McGowan, who was then taken to a nearby hospital for medical treatment. For whatever reason (perhaps the ...

Oh, c’mon, it’s not like he’s a “Coke dealer.”

For as long as there have been public high schools, there have been rules against possessing certain substances — from tobacco to chewing gum for masking the stink of tobacco — and young capitalists willing to risk their diplomas for quick cash trafficking the contraband. And in our health-conscious age, the hallways of the black market are flowing with high-fructose corn syrup.

Which brings us to criminal mastermind “entrepreneur” Keenan Shaw, a 17-year-old student at Winston Churchill High School in Alberta, Canada, who has been suspended for providing an illicit product to adolescent caffeine junkies by distributing Pepsi cans out of his locker, reports Canada’s National Post. (Only diet soda is allowed, due to the district’s nutritional guidelines.)

He had sporadically gotten away with this scheme for nearly four years, earning $12 on each $5 case from the supermarket. (Which, we’re guessing, is a fortune worthy of a cartel in U.S. dollars. Kid probably spends millions just on rubber bands for his cash.) But like with his gangster predecessors Al Capone and Whitey Bulger, it was only a matter of time until the authorities caught up with him.

Superintendent Sheryl Gilmour defended the move to kick Shaw out of school, calling his soda-running plot a “steadfast refusal to follow school policies…it’s about refusing to comply with rules.”

But Shaw’s mother is sticking up for her delinquent hellspawn, telling the Lethbridge Herald, “From a business perspective, it’s smart.” ...

Over the past decade, almost everyone who works in the publishing industry — editors, agents and many authors — became worried or convinced that the internet would make literature obsolete. Who’ll remember the classics, the thinking went, when nobody can even recall the tweets they’d just read a minute ago?

Fortunately, it appears that our attention spans are pretty resilient, despite digital distraction everywhere. The generation most comfortable with technology is also the most likely to pick up a book — or at least download it — reports the Pew Research Center.

Sure, 90% of 16- to 29-year-olds use social networking sites and 77% own a smartphone, but nearly half of them “report reading a book — in any format — on a daily basis,” Pew found. In fact, 88% of milennials had read one in the previous year, as opposed to 79% of people over 30.

They’re also more likely than older generations to visit a public library, and younger milennials visit libraries more frequently than older milennials.

OK, paperback and hardcover sales are down, but 37% of milennials read e-books, and a story is just as compelling on a screen as it is on a dead tree. (Plus, shlepping boxes of books is the absolute worst part of moving to a new apartment.)

So if you’re worried about the future is gonna look like “Fahrenheit 451″ — or, for that matter, “Idiocracy” — try ...

If Mom and Dad saved up for decades so you can (almost, kind of, j/k yeah right) afford college, then you should be kind enough to pay them back…by shielding them from the horrible truth of your new debaucherous existence. Whether it’s your diet, your partying, your (un-)romantic life, your court hearing or any other time-honored aspect of the undergraduate experience, their ignorance is your bliss.

Check out the video below for all the lies you’re gonna spew when touching base with the ‘rents. If you’re lucky, they won’t remember feeding their parents the exact same b.s. by the shovelful once upon a time.

Marty Beckerman @martybeckerman

Whether you’re headed back to high school or college, you’re going to need supplies to succeed, and many stores are kind enough to discount them for you this time of year. But sometimes they lump products into the “back to school” category that seriously don’t belong there, unless you’re enrolled in a bartending academy. Here are some of the most confusing moments in retail history.

Booze

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Weapons

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More Booze

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FAIL Blog

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Apparel

Family Planning

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Yet More Booze

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Personal Grooming

FAIL Blog

Read More →

A couple years ago, former U.S. Olympic swimmer Carly Geehr admitted, “Nearly 100% of elite competitive swimmers pee in the pool. Regularly.” That’s either revolting or a major job perk, depending on your perspective, but at least pools have chlorine to sterilize your fellow swimmers’ liquid (and, ugh, solid) waste. When you’re at the beach, a golden shower through osmosis is just one more reason to be terrified of the ocean.

Related: The 5 Worst Guys At The Beach

The good news is that, if you’re the pisser instead of the pissed-upon, you don’t need to feel guilty — at least in terms of environmental impact. According to this animated science lesson from the American Chemical Society, pee has no major ecological effect:

Fish won’t mind drinking your expelled Starbucks, the video explains, because urine is “95% water” and sodium chloride, which the ocean has in abundance. Also, your bladder isn’t that spacious compared to a whale’s: “If every person one earth [peed] into the Atlantic, there’d be just 60 parts per trillion.”

Finally, the nitrogen in urine “combines with water to produce ammonium, which feeds ocean plant life.” You’re just showing thanks to the ocean kingdom for all that sushi. Pass it forward. Piss it forward!

Related: How To Publicly Urinate (Without Getting In Trouble)

That said, the narrator warns us NOT to “pee in protected areas like reefs” or ponds/lakes because it might harm a fragile ecosystem. And even if treating every other beachgoer like a human urinal doesn’t ...

It’s probably fair to say that Taylor Swift’s fan base skews more female than male, but not many guys would turn down a chance to hang out at her place. And that’s exactly the choice BroBible writer Brandon Cohen made when his just-for-s–ts-and-giggles contest entry turned out to be a winning ticket for Swift’s New York City house party.

Cohen (who isn’t the dude in the above photo from the same event) saw a tweet from Swift “calling all NYC fans” to enter for a chance to attend a Yahoo livestream:

In order to enter, Cohen had to explain why he deserved the honor:

“I said something along the lines of, ‘Even though I’m a 28-year-old dude, I love Taylor and don’t care who knows it!’ But the thing is, I do care who knows it, so it was a LIE. HAHA!”

A few days later, Cohen was shocked to receive a call from a TaylorSwift.com representative, alerting him that he’d been selected, presumably from among thousands of genuine entries:

“‘[A]ren’t you excited?’

“‘Yes! So excited!’ I responded, trying my best to imitate how a normal person who was excited would sound.”

The rep warned Cohen not to share the details with ANYONE (“The problem there,” Cohen writes, “was that I couldn’t think of a single one of my friends who would give a s–t”). He showed up to the studio at 1 p.m., and quickly realized that he had very little in common with the other ...

At this point, every celebrity on the planet has poured ice water over their heads for ALS awareness — it’s like “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” without music, and without Christmas. While some may consider James Franco taking the challenge without pants to be the sexiest of the bunch, others may look more forward to seeing Kate Upton’s video, a double dunk with boyfriend Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers:

Related: Kate Upton Says Twerking Is OK & Trolling Is Not

Also joining the meme, “The Big Bang Theory” star Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting faced the freezing H20 with good humor:

So, have we reached peak ice bucket at this point? Are you inspired to donate, or do you want this watery trend to stop saturating your Facebook feed? Watch the above videos and think about it — you just might need a cold shower yourself.

Marty Beckerman @martybeckerman