Not all of us have the smoothest of relationships with our extended families. There's always a weird aunt, stern grandfather, grabby nephew, what have you. In the case of Hannah Horvath on the latest episode of HBO's "Girls," "Flo," that dreaded relative is the platonic ideal of passive aggressive cousin. Sarah Steele guest stars as Rebecca, Hannah's jumper-wearing, med school-attending cousin with a razor tongue. Our diagnosis: a chronic case of resting bitch face.

As family legend has it, Rebecca has been less than friendly to our heroine ever since a 7-year-old Hannah told her that her father had been convicted of insider trading. Since then, ol' Becky's been making up for lost daddy time by throwing passive aggressive, and sometimes outright nasty barbs, at Hannah.

This week, we took the liberty of recording all of Rebecca's burns. Incidentally, this means the below is nearly every one of Steele's character's lines, transcribed. (There were a few "byes" omitted for lacking a relative degree of menace and, ironically, dismissal.) All you're missing to complete the scene is Steele's perfect version of dead-eyed stank face.

» "I don't think that's a funny nickname for Grandma."

» "I think I have to go to a Starbucks to study, because I'm in the middle of exams and I just like, can't work here."

» "I'm not, like, really going there to meet a man. I actually really hate when people say that, because I feel like it diminishes what I'm doing, and like I'm becoming a doctor myself, I'm not trying to marry one. Like, I'm not becoming a ...

Jordan Catalano is an Oscar winner! Jared Leto nabbed the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his performance as Rayon, a transsexual AIDS sufferer in "Dallas Buyers Club."

Looking dapper in a white tux with red bow tie on MTV's Oscars 2014 Live Red Carpet, Leto "classed it up" with MTV's Josh Horowitz, explaining, "I'm really grateful. I'm here with my mom and my brother. I don't live too far from here, so it's kind of awesome to be so close to home and to be celebrating like this. So [I have] a lot of gratitude. A lot of excitement."

Leto's Supporting Actor speech included a poignant note about his mother, a high school dropout and single mom who always encouraged him to work towards his dreams of the arts. Along with honoring his family, he dedicated his award to "the 36 million people who have lost the battle to AIDS."

Leto told Horowitz he wasn't worried about the pressure to perform onstage if he won (still only a possibility during their pre-show chat), explaining, "Nobody's perfect — you're gonna get up there and if you're lucky enough to get up there, you've got a great problem. You're gonna be so nervous, you're gonna try to remember all the right things to say, and to pay tribute to the people that really mean a lot to you. And it's all good stuff, so if it's imperfect, if I'm out of my mind and babbling, it's fine. I'm just happy to be here."

We think he nailed it in a ...

The world of selfies is divided into two classes: There are selfies, and then there are selfies that have Jennifer Lawrence sitting on Meryl Streep's lap.

The earth was on the receiving end of the latter type of selfie at the Oscars Sunday night (March 2), when social media-happy host Ellen DeGeneres pulled together celebs from the first few rows of the audience — among them Lawrence, Streep, Channing Tatum, Lupita Nyong'o, Julia Roberts, Bradley Cooper, Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey, as well as others — for what she called the "most retweeted selfie of all time."

"If only Bradley's arm was longer," she captioned the picture on Twitter. "Best photo ever."

We're inclined to agree.

If you want to live inside this moment just as much as we do, don't worry: We GIFfed it for you. Stay here forever.

Eat your heart out, Jordan Catalano: Jared Leto has an Oscar.

His performance as transgender AIDS patient Rayon in sent him home with the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor on Sunday night (March 2), as he triumphed over a field of impressive performances by Michael Fassbender ("12 Years a Slave,") Jonah Hill (and his porcelain veneers in "The Wolf of Wall Street"), Bradley Cooper ("American Hustle") and newcomer Barkhad Abdi ("Captain Phillips").

And, boy, did he look pretty. Blue eyes sparkling, long locks flowing, Leto delivered a simple and moving speech, dedicated in equal parts to his mother, to the 36 million victims of AIDS in the past three decades and to people struggling in the Ukraine and Venezuela. He also gave a shout-out to his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, which has kept him busy for the past six years.

"To all the dreamers, we are here," Leto said, inspired by his mom. "And as you struggle to make your dreams happen to live the impossible, we're thinking of you tonight."

"To the 36 million victims of the AIDS crisis," he said, holding his golden figurine aloft, "I stand with you and for you."

Leto took a break from film for more than a decade before taking on the role of Rayon, and his success in Hollywood might signal more big things to come for the 42-year-old actor.

Stick with us for complete Oscars coverage including all the Oscar winners, show moments and fashion highlights.

Although my sources on the ground at the 2014 Academy Awards have yet to confirm, I'm, like, 99 point all the nines percent sure that Kristen Bell just saw a sloth on the red carpet.

In case you missed it, the actress famously shared a home video on "The Ellen Degeneres Show" in 2012, where she completely and utterly ceases to function upon being told that a sloth would be attending her birthday party.

Let's just say that Kristen's expression on Sunday (March 2) looks exactly like it did in that clip. The wide-eyed shock? The mouth all agape? The quivering eyelids on the verge of weeping all the tears? Duh, all signs point to SLOTH.

Before I kneel before my homemade shrine (I'm pretty D.I.Y., NBD) to send posi vibes Kristen's way, I've got a bone to pick with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. C'mon, Academy, this is why you don't let sloths onto the red carpet! Kristen's got enough to worry about (like, uh, "Frozen"'s two Oscar nominations for Best Original Song and Best Animated Feature Film #HELLO) to avoid slipping into sloth-induced anaphylactic shock. Get it together.

Stick with us for complete Oscars coverage including all the Oscar winners, show moments and fashion highlights.

We're not sure yet whether Jennifer Lawrence will score another Oscar at the 86th Academy Awards, but it looks like history did repeat itself in at least one way: the "American Hustle" star took a little tumble on the Red Carpet.

Quick, someone break out the Doritos — looks like J-Law could use some serious comfort food.

Last year, Lawrence bit it when going up to accept her Best Actress Oscar for "Silver Linings Playbook." Always the classy lady, however, the actress made her spill look a high-class perfume ad rather than a full-on face-plant.

This year, after stepping out on the carpet in a chic red dress and sky-high hair reminiscent of her character's bouffant in "American Hustle," Lawrence ate floor once more.

Luckily, someone caught the stumble on Vine so that we can watch Lawrence being adorably human over and over and over again. Is that Daft Punk we see giving her a hand? Or is it Robocop?

Lawrence is up for the Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for "American Hustle" tonight (March 2), so we'll have to see if history continues to repeat itself.

In the meantime, could someone get this girl some sneaks?

Stick with us for complete Oscars coverage including all the Oscar winners, show moments and fashion highlights.