Serious question: Do you think Kanye West wanted a croissant instead of ice cream while he was in Paris Sunday (May 18)? Because the look on his face is not that of a man who wanted ice cream.

Yes, folks: We’re dissecting ice cream excursion photos here, as the duo formerly known as Kim Kardashian and Kanye West — once unified, they will only be known as Kimye forevermore — are in Paris, getting their pre-marital bliss on in preparation for The Wedding of The Millennium To End All Weddings And Also Millenniums. Still the question must be begged: Why are you so angry at that cream of ice?

Surely, there must be something more at play here. Because there is nothing about sweet cream dreams, crafted in icy perfection, that should make anyone upset or even vaguely annoyed.

Maybe they only had caramel but Kanye wanted mint chocolate chip?

Maybe the cone was not evenly golden brown, causing the rapper to reminisce about those waffle cones he loved back in Chicago?

Maybe he’s more of a Dreyer’s man than a Häagen-Dazs enthusiast (maybe it’s a point of contention in the Kimye relationship)?

Maybe he didn’t even want ice cream at all — Kim had a craving, though, and the bride always gets what she wants — and the waning availability of his favorite French speciality made him melancholic?

Or ...

Regardless of your opinions on Lance Armstrong and his legacy, you have to admit: this run-in of his with the deliciously dark and hilarious-in-a-terrible-way game Cards Against Humanity is pretty freaking hilarious.

The self-described “card game for terrible people” has several choice cards from which you can pick in order to expose your truly messed-up inner self to your friends. Only when Armstrong was playing, it seems, things sidestepped the metaphorical and went straight for the delightfully literal.

Needless to say, surely the not-so-stifled gigglegaggle was on high alert during this game.

But, to be fair to Armstrong: It could’ve been a lot more awkward. After all, Cards Against Humanity is the gift that keeps on giving, with several cards in each pack left blank so that you and your fellow revelers might bring slightly more personal humor (true or not) to the game. Meaning it could’ve been very easy for Armstrong to have pulled one of these [completely made-up] cards instead:

1. “Lying about blood doping to the World Anti-Doping Agency.”

2. “Getting taken to task by Oprah Winfrey on national television.”

3. “Sleeping on a giant pile of money you earned by cheating.”

4. “Recycling your blood to pass a drug test (ew).”

5. “Cheating a whole bunch during the Tour de France.”

6. “Ruining cycling for everybody.”

7. “Throwing your friends under the bus.”

8. “Disgracing the good name of the United States Postal Service…again.”

9. “Suing people for telling lies about you that are actually true.”

10. “Making everyone wear little yellow rubber bracelets and then lying to them.”

11. “Being ...

Pamela Anderson is opening up about the sexual assaults that happened to her when she was a child. At a launch event for the Pamela Anderson Foundation, dedicated to protecting the rights of animals, she revealed the horrific experiences that led her to protect animals “and only them.”

“I feel now might be the time to reveal a few of my most painful memories,” the actress told an audience at a backgammon competition beach party the Foundation, according to the Daily Mail. “At the risk of over-exposing myself, again, or being inappropriate, again, I thought I might share with you why I am doing this.”

Anderson then recounted her first sexual experience as a harrowing one — her female babysitter molested her at the age of 6. At 12 years old, a friend’s “older brother decided to teach me backgammon, which led into a back massage, which led into rape – my first heterosexual experience,” Anderson said. “He was 25 years old and I was 12.” She also described how her first boyfriend organized for her to be gang raped.

“This meant I had a hard time trusting humans,” she continued. “My parents tried to keep me safe, but to me, the world was not a safe place. My dad was an alcoholic, my mom worked two jobs, my mom was always crying, dad didn’t always come home.”

She said animals and nature became her only companions.

“I prayed to the whales with my feet in the ocean, my only real ...

In just one day (Monday, May 19) we’ll be getting a brand new trailer for Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy.” But if you can’t wait that long, the studio has been releasing teasers for the trailer in short, 15 second long increments… and they’re awesome.

Where the first full trailer focused on the humor of the piece, the teasers emphasize the action, the romance, and most importantly, the talking raccoon voiced by Bradley Cooper:

Oh… Yeah. And while yet another trailer teaser doesn’t have any talking animals (or trees, as we have yet to hear Vin Diesel speak as the voice of sentient alien plant Groot), it does have some great looks at Chris Pratt’s Star-Lord letting his double-blasters do what they do best:

“Guardians of the Galaxy” also stars Zoe Saldana and Dave Bautista as Gamora and Drax, respectively, as well as Karen Gillan and Lee Pace in the bad guy roles. The movie hits theaters on August 1.

Alex Zalben

Not only did The 1975 get super unbeachy at Hangout Fest — and bust out a stand-out performance — they also chatted with MTV News about their fans — as well as the possibility of new music.

Watching the gaggle of Brits take the stage at Hangout was certainly an overwhelming experience — what with Matt Healy going all Matt Berninger on a full bottle of red wine (all the wine is all for him), dive into the crowd to take snaps with his adoring fans, and just generally be shirtless and tattoo’d and … what was I saying again? Oh, yeah. The 1975: swoon-worthy.

And that’s not just a figure of speech, guys: According to Healy, “There’s a lot more crying and fainting that happens at our gigs [now].” Someone break out the smelling salts.

Check out the clip below to hear more about The 1975′s fan frenzy and, be still our hearts, the buzz on new tunes:

Brenna Ehrlich

Brenna Ehrlich is a reporter for MTV News as well as the senior writer/editor for the O Music Awards. In the past, she served as associate editor at Mashable, penned a netiquette column for CNN and co-authored the blog and book "Stuff Hipsters Hate." She likes trying not to die in moshpits and listening to songs on repeat. Follow her on Twitter @BrennaEhrlich for news on cats and punk bands.

Long gone are the Twilight days of Robert Pattinson’s career. In their stead? Well that’s where we get the really, really good stuff. And it may be with his latest film, The Rover, that the actor finally gets his due. But we suppose that’s what one would hope comes out of working with the acclaimed David Michôd, whose 2010 film Animal Kingdom was one of the most talked-about films at Cannes in 2010.

And dues he is getting — critics the world over are currently getting their cinematic fill in the fancy little French town, so there’s nary a reason to be easy on anyone. Instead of relegating Pattinson to the sparkly vampire corner now and forevermore, they’ve instead embraced the actor’s turn in the post-global-catastrophe film as a “revelation” and “career-redefining.” They just grow up so fast, don’t they?

Pattinson is repeatedly regaled as “the film’s greatest surprise” by critics, applauding him for being an “oasis of humanity in this stark, forsaken land.” To be a beacon of hope in a dystopian future? Not too shabby.

The film focuses on Guy Pearce’s character, Eric, on the hunt for his stolen car in a desolate Australian town ten years after the catastrophic event that took down the world’s economy. Think of it as a Dude, Where’s My Car? for the post-downfall-of-society age. Would that make Pattinson the Sean William Scott of this age? My, what a thought.

Alicia Lutes

We had a high hopes for the Flaming Lips‘ set at Hangout Fest 2014 — what with Wayne Coyne’s Instagrams of that bloody muscle suit and that giant red Solo cup.

Well, Coyne and Co. did not disappoint; they served up a totally tripped-out kid’s cartoon of a performance, complete with singing trees, dancing mushrooms and a sea of bouncing, inflatable rubber duckies. Oh, and the Solo cup also made an appearance — filled with balloons, of course.

Yup, this merry band of freaks totally gave Diarrhea Planet and their crowd-surfing donuts a run for their proverbial money.

Busting into their set with a duo of their biggest hits — “She Don’t Use Jelly” and “Do You Realize” — the band segued into a more subdued set, eerily soundtracking the transition from night into day. And then it got weird again — with flashing lights and tons of ragged-rad noise. They even threw in crowd-pleasing covers of The Beatles’ “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” and David Bowie’s “Heroes” for good measure.

Take a look at the collection of GIFs below and vibe out, man:

Brenna Ehrlich

Brenna Ehrlich is a reporter for MTV News as well as the senior writer/editor for the O Music Awards. In the past, she served as associate editor at Mashable, penned a netiquette column for CNN and co-authored ...

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While we’re still not over Cody Simpson being voted off this season’s “Dancing With The Stars” (c’mon, the boy’s got game), we are happy to see he’ll be returning for the Season 18 finale episode, which airs on Tuesday, along with his dance partner Whitney Carson. Check out their fly moves as he and Carson work out the choreography for their upcoming “DWTS” appearance, which he shared on Instagram. #Hot

But wait, there’s even MORE Corey coming up on “DWTS.” Not only will we be seeing the Aussie singer getting down on the dancefloor, but he just revealed via Twitter that he’s also performing. Surf’s up!

Althea Legaspi

Here’s a conundrum: When you hit up a fest where tons of clothing is seriously optional (it’s hot out here, y’all), where do you put your keys, wallet, cellphone, etc? Time to flashback to the ’80s, folks.

I have one (slightly silly) word for you: fannypack. Yup, those once-ubitqious ’80s accessories are back — at least here in Gulf Shores, Alabama, at the 2014 Hangout Fest.

MTV hit up the festival grounds looking for the best of the best when it comes to bum bags. Check ‘em out (in GIFs!) below:

Brenna Ehrlich

Brenna Ehrlich is a reporter for MTV News as well as the senior writer/editor for the O Music Awards. In the past, she served as associate editor at Mashable, penned a netiquette column for CNN and co-authored the blog and book "Stuff Hipsters Hate." She likes trying not to die in moshpits and listening to songs on repeat. Follow her on Twitter @BrennaEhrlich for news on cats and punk bands.

We’re not trying to make this a #SadSaturday, but it’s worth sharing Miley Cyrus’ poignant Twitter post from earlier today. As you may recall, Cyrus lost her beloved puppy Floyd in April, and it’s clearly not the kind of pain that disappears just by wishing it away.

“How many times have you laid in bed and cried when the sun is out shining… But CHOOSE to lay in bed and indulge yourself in sadness,” she wrote.

The pop star is apparently feeling remorse for the loss of her pup (though we have to say, Miley, this was NOT YOUR FAULT). “A mother’s greatest responsibility is to keep their baby from anyone hurting them physically or emotionally,” she shared. “I was Floyd’s mommy. I don’t know when the regret and guilt will fade.”

Miley ended the post by revealing how she’s spending the day. “I am being helplessly human & I am OK with that.” So are we, Miley, so are we.

Read the full post:

Althea Legaspi