College, the greatest 4-13 years of your life, is filled with so many lessons that most of them whip by without you even noticing. Maybe you’ll remember a particular reading assignment or guest speaker, but it’s the little things you learn that make college such an important place of higher education…

1. Your friend with the chin beard will always go to the bar, but he’ll never give you back those 20 bucks.

2. Kids eat ramen noodles. Grown-ups eat ramen noodles with an egg in it.

3. If you show up to places in sweatpants, you’ll act like you showed up to places in sweatpants.

4. Always knock first on your roommate’s door. ALWAYS.

5. House parties are the best…especially when they aren’t at your house.

Related: Ice Breakers You Should Never Use At College Parties

6. A beer gut is a very, very real thing.

7. You can actually call your mom for things that don’t involve sending you money.

8. The two most important words in the English language: “Free food.”

9. Knowing yourself means knowing your strengths. They shouldn’t all contain the words “beer” or “pong.”

10. A homework headache is better than a hangover headache.

Related: 27 SnapChats That Perfectly Explain College

11. There’s a difference between a “booty text” and a “creepy text.”

12. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, especially when it’s a dare from someone in a frat.

13. Never mix cheap liquor with cheaper tacos.

14. There is nothing on this planet more satisfying than beating everybody on your ...

Unless you’re a time traveler from the 1920s, wearing a fedora makes you king of all doofs. But there’s an exception to every rule. So here are all the times when you can and should pull the fedora out of the closet…just please never take it out for any other reason ever again.

1. Practice for your jazz quartet

2. You’re bald and spilled mustard on your wig

3. A chemical disease has rendered everyone in the world blind

4. You’re Jon Hamm. He can do no wrong.

5. You’ve entered a competition for “World’s Coolest Uncle”

6. You’re on your way to getting your beeper repaired

7. It’s Halloween and all your other costumes got lost in the fire

8. You are the one who knocks

9. You need something that matches with the sunglasses you always wear indoors

10. It’s Big Band Night at the retirement community

11. You’re just sick of women finding you attractive

12. Too many people think you’re cool

13. You recently woke up from a 90-year coma that began when fedoras didn’t make you an a–hole

Zach Sims

“This is the summer I run a marathon!” you swore, right before remembering how much you love beer. You planned on doing a lot of other things this summer, too, and ended up doing very few of them. The good news is that you’re not alone. Check out these incredibly common promises made/broken since June, and maybe you’ll feel better about how lazy you are.

1. “I’m going to read all the classic novels”

Related: Skipped Your Summer Reading? These 20 Required Reads Are Movies Too

2. “I’m going to have the best bonfire party EVER”

3. “I’m going to lose those last 25-45 pounds”

4. “I’m going to be more careful with the fireworks this year”

5. “I’m going to get awesome at surfing”

6. “I’m going to impress everyone at the BBQ”

7. “I’m going to take it easy on the day drinking”

Related: Adult Summer Camp Is A Place You Can Go, And It Is Ridiculous

8. “I’m going to start that herb garden”

9. “I’m going to finally summon the courage to skydive”

10. “I’m going to eat more kale”

11. “I’m going to buy tickets for every summer blockbuster”

Related: The Film Industry Just Had Its Worst Summer In 17 Years

12. “I’m going to learn to scuba dive”

13. “I’m going to break out ...