The Pentagon has a plan to save you from zombies. Seriously.
CONPLAN 8888, also known as “Counter-Zombie Dominance,” was unclassified today and obtained by Foreign Policy. The document is 31 pages long and reads like a much crazier outline for “World War Z,” incorporating everything from the occult and chicken zombies to space alien zombies. This thing could fuel Hollywood with movie ideas through 2020.
As crazy as it all sounds, it’s not a joke, which is evidenced by the first line of report, “This plan was not actually designed as a joke.” The plan was originally compiled as a training exercise in composing such disaster plans, and was made so ridiculous that it wouldn’t be confused with a real guide if it ever leaked to the general public. Which, we have to say, is pretty ingenious. CONPLAN 8888 reads like a really good zombie novel, equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
Without further ado, here are 11 of the most incredible ways the U.S. government plans to stop the zombie apocalypse. Brad Pitt is not one of them. Yes, we’re bummed too.

11. Stop Chicken Zombies
The plan covers all types of zombies, from “Evil Magic Zombies” to “Space Zombies” to “Vegetarian Zombies,” but most terrifying of all are “Chicken Zombies.” Why? Because they actually exist. Hens are euthanized by farmers after they can’t lay eggs anymore, but sometimes aren’t quite dead and claw their way to the surface.
Thanks, Pentagon. There goes our dinner.
10. Establish Martial Law To Kill Robot ...
















