Rumors of Kanye West‘s teaching stint as part of his sentence to 24 months of probation and 250 hours of community service have been circling since June. But interest in Ye as professor has piqued once again when one of his students posted photos from Yeezy’s most recent lecture session to Instagram. It’s hard to look at the pics and *not* imagine what it would be like to sit in on a class taught by Kanye, so we’re taking it one step further and offering up a 100% fantasy account of what it could have been like in this installment of Fashion Fanfic.
The day started like every other: I found a decently close parking spot in the school lot, I scored a seat in the exact middle of the classroom—not too close to get called on a bunch but not too far to look like I wasn’t trying, I even had a little time before class to catch up on my Instagram feed before things got underway. And then it happened. Two campus police officers walked in, asked our professor if the whole class was present, and surveyed the room. Immediately, I thought the worst possible things: outside threats had been spotted along the perimeter of the school grounds, they were doing random bag searches and my extra-large Costco bottle of Dayquil was about to make me look very suspect, one of my classmates was being investigated—all of it ran through my head. But it all changed in an instant.
“Class started two hours ago—oh, am I late?,” he said, peeking his head in through the door frame with a big smile on his face, only his brand new haircut visible. “Mr. West is in the building!”
Kanye West was in my classroom. I was about to receive a private lesson from KANYE. WEST. In what, I honestly couldn’t care less. It was as though the heavens opened up, teleported me above Los Angeles and dropped me into a taping of a Welcome Back, Kotter reboot episode starring Kanye West with a live studio audience.
“Hello, class. I’m Kanye West, and I’ll be your guest lecturer today.”
I was officially dead. Dig a 6-foot hole right now, Ma—I’m not coming back from this. I looked around to see if I had missed a memo, if any of my classmates knew this would happen. Everyone’s mouths were wide open.
After the initial shock wore off, our usual professor spoke up, “I’m a let you finish, Kanye—sorry, I’ve always wanted to say that—but class, before Mr. West continues, please turn off your cell phones and stow your bags under your seats. There will be a designated time when you can use them to take pictures, but for now, let’s treat Mr. West like any other guest.” We obliged, and then, Kanye had the floor again.
“Today, I want to talk to you all about inspiration,” he started. “I find inspirations in a lot of things—whether it’s music or art or architecture. Even something as simple as a Le Corbusier lamp. I’m a creative person. I don’t limit myself as far as the things I want to create, and I don’t limit myself as far as the things I’m inspired by. Design and music and art can get pushed down in the big picture of the world. They’re seen as extra, they’re bonus. But you, me, creative people—we all have an opportunity to make a bigger impact on the world. To save it through design. I’m not just talking about, ‘Oh, I wrote this song to help people turn up and have a good time,’ or ‘I made these shoes because I want people to be comfortable and express themselves.’ I’m talking about Ice Cube and 2Pac changing the way people think about their role in political issues. I’m talking about Steve Jobs changing the way people use and view technology.”
I was all:
I couldn’t take notes fast enough. He spoke for roughly an hour, maybe an hour and a half—adding stories about how his grandfather instilled in both him and his late mother a passion for truth and justice—then opened the floor up for questions, but his facial reactions did most of the talking.
“When you put together Kim’s looks for the month, where do you pull inspiration for that?” the dude to my immediate left asked.
Kanye’s response:
“How do you feel about Nike now?” someone else chimed in.
“What’s the Illuminati like?”
“What inspired that haircut?”
And then, suddenly, it was time for Kanye to leave. The class scrambled together, rushing for their phones to get a few last snaps of this miracle moment, and after a few dozen flashbulbs, he was ushered out of the room.
Will there ever be a moment in my life that tops this? Probably not.
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