Today is Britney Spears’ 32nd birthday. While 32 isn’t typically considered a milestone birthday, the O.G. Catholic schoolgirl is also dropping her eighth album, Britney Jean, this week, so it could be said that she’s at something of a crossroads.
Pardon us, did someone say crossroads? As in the 2002 road trip movie starring one Britney Jean Spears (and her midriff)?
Yes, yes they did. Eleven years later, in honor of B-town’s b-day, we pulled our much-loved DVD of out and revisited it. (The bajillion other times we’ve revisited it are in honor of … Tuesday? Whatever. We don’t need an excuse.) A decade-plus later, here’s what we love about “Crossroads.”
Years before Ke$ha instructed us to throw some glitter and make it rain, Britney and Zoe Saldana were bathing in it.
The bucket hat may have fallen out of style, but Britney shows that it can be both wistful and happy.
At the peak of meta, a month before their epic breakup, Britney bleats along to Justin Timberlake’s vocals in “Bye Bye Bye.”
She doesn’t want to make it tough, but she’s had enough.
Baby Justin Long explained to us why he thinks we should have sex.
You’re right. We do trust our lab partner.
Remember Bowling for Soup? We do. “Crossroads” does. You do.
We were reminded that there’s no need to walk on eggshells around pregnant women.
Britney taught us the appropriate response to homicide is a simple “OMG.”
“I’m on a road trip with a killer and you’re telling me not to be upset.”
A karaoke performance is best spiced up by a DJ-scratch intro, a Freedom crop top and a metric ton of body glitter.
She loves rock and roll, guys.
Britney’s piece of angsty teen poetry is easily transformed into a chart-topping single.
Did your life look like this at 18? Because Britney’s did.
Yeah, our lives at 18 didn’t really look like this either.
Zoe Saldana’s character probably would have been sassing us, like this:
In Britneyworld, your parents are Kim Cattrall and Dan Aykroyd, of course.
Let’s forget about the fact that Kim Cattrall didn’t want her, because come on, Kim.
Aren’t all road trips like this? Full of joy and very long singing montages?
So.
Many.
Crop tops.
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