November 15, 2024

‘Game Of Thrones’ Superfan Goes Medieval On A Home Intruder

You know nothing, Thomas McGowan.

Police in Wichita Falls, Texas are charging the 25-year-old with breaking into the home of Jimmy Morgan, Jr. And he might’ve gotten away with it, too, if Morgan weren’t one of those guys who takes “Game of Thrones” very, very seriously — enough to own a bunch of weapons worthy of Westeros.

“[McGowan] was standing no more than two to three feet away from me,” Morgan told news station KFDX, adding, “I don’t have a firearm [but] I have a short spear, very quick, very agile and very deadly.” Morgan belongs to a “medieval fighting” club, and “we do use spears and swords and things of that nature.”

Don’t believe him? Just watch these sweet moves:

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I can taste the Valyrian steel from here.

Related: ‘Game Of Thrones’ Shocker: Tywin Lannister Is Back For Season 5, But How?

So, what happens when you storm Castle Black [or the double wide trailer owned by a man of the Night’s Watch]? This:

witchita falls burglary suspect

Morgan says he only stabbed McGowan once, at which point McGowan just wanted to get the hell out of there: “As he was running, he smeared blood from here to high heaven and he splattered here and he splattered there and splattered all over there. It was like a deer.”

Police arrested McGowan, who was then taken to a nearby hospital for medical treatment. For whatever reason (perhaps the same reason why King Joffrey left heads on pikes — as a warning), Morgan didn’t even bother cleaning the blood up before inviting a news crew over:

burglary spear bloodKFDX

“I am a Christian man and I don’t want to take life,” Morgan told KFDX. “However, I want to make sure that he understands that his life was mine to take. I let him have it.”

Now that’s a line to make George R.R. Martin proud.

Related: 17 ‘Game Of Thrones’ Characters Get Their Names Screwed Up At Starbucks

Watch the full video below:

About the author  ⁄ Marty Beckerman

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