Listen up, everyone: Katy Perry has some thoughts on fragrances that she’d like to share with the class.
You hear that? Puppy breath. Wet dog mouth, straight from inside a small canine to the outside of your body, rubbed lovingly over your pulse points. (External use only, safety first.)
With this enthralling tidibt in mind, here are five more fragrance suggestions for Katy to add to her repertoire.
Dark Horse
What’s better than florals? How about a big, strong, musky horse smell? Keep an eye out for Dark Horse, a fragrance sure to allure the one you want to hit the hay with.
52.4 Million Twitter Followers
What would Katy’s oodles of Twitter followers smell like? Sucess, of course. That, and probably a little bit like armpit too.
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
Get bummed, eat Cheetos, get psyched. Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, you can do all that, without having to actually chew. You’re welcome.
Miley’s Tongue Scrapings
Katy’s frenemy wags it out there so often, there’s no way that noise can be clean. And if you’ve ever had to carry around a jar of spit for a day (for science), you know that it smells worse than it tastes. Buyer beware.
Minibar
Hey, we’ve all been there, and judging by the lyric “I smell like a minibar” in KP’s “Last Friday Night,” she has too. And she must like it, for all that it brought her: A fifth consecutive #1 single isn’t too bad. With a topnote of gin and a wafting undercurrent of loneliness, this one’s sure to make its way onto every lady’s body this season.
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