December 19, 2024

That ’22 Jump Street’ D–k-Shooting Game Is Real, And It’s Horrifying

22 Jump Street” was one of the craziest movies of 2014, and there was nothing crazier than the end credits sequence, which imagined decades of “Jump Street” sequels and merchandise.

The most disturbing part of the credits, however, wasn’t an actual movie poster but an electronic playset for “39 Jump Street.” The goal of the game? For kids to shoot four dildos with lasers, which were stand-ins for Rob Riggle’s character’s man-parts: he was shot there in the first movie, though why he has four, we have no idea.

But as “22 Jump Street” co-director Chris Miller found out, there’s nothing you can dream up that the Internet won’t take to the next level.

Yup, that’s right kids. What was a quick shot in the movie is now a real live playset, with two of those electronic laser tag guns you had as a kid and, of course, a complete set of fake d–ks. It’s suitable for ages 3 and up, because nothing says family fun like shooting lasers at a bunch of dildos together.

It also comes with its very own brick wall on which to mount said d–ks, because the most obvious place for law-breaking d–ks to go is on top of a short brick wall.

As of this writing, Rob Riggle has not responded to Miller, but if he doesn’t want it, we’d be glad to take it off the director’s hands. You know… for journalism.

Is this the weirdest thing that’s ever been actually created for a movie? Possibly. But would you buy if it were sold in your local toy store?

You don’t have to answer that.

About the author  ⁄ Craig Flaster

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