by Alyse Whitney
Let’s get one thing out of the way first: Yes, Lifetime’s “The Brittany Murphy” story was as sensationalized and over-the-top as we all thought it would be.
All of the facts we knew about Brittany’s untimely death in 2012 were not mentioned or saved for a written slide at the end of the unauthorized biopic. The rest was a garbled mess telling her “story” from her humble New Jersey beginnings to the sad end of her career, including her rise to fame post-”Clueless,” her romance with “Just Married” costar Ashton Kutcher, her mother Sharon’s battle with breast cancer, and her strange relationship with her now-deceased husband, Simon Monjack.
Ultimately, this jumpy tale didn’t give us any answers about Brittany’s mysterious death — it was more like one of Lifetime’s original movies, complete with bad acting, dramatic music, and equally-dramatic lighting — but it did provide plenty of ridiculous and outrageous moments. Below, we outline 16 of the film’s most dramatic scenes and cringe-worthy quotes.
1. The whole intro
In the first few minutes of the film, we see Simon screaming, “You all killed her!” at the paparazzi after Brittany’s death, then a flash of tweets from Alicia Silverstone, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Ashton Kutcher mourning her.
2. When a member of the “Clueless” crew calls Brittany a “chunky monkey”
After smiling and being nice to Brittany, a random crew member walks a few feet away from her and loudly says that her onscreen transformation won’t save that “chunky monkey.” This is just one way to show how she was such an “outcast” on set.
3. When she dramatically covers a mirror with a blanket to hide herself
When Brittany is not yet blonde and super self conscious, she gazes into mirrors and tries to imagine herself as a skinny, traditionally pretty girl. One time, she gets so overwhelmed with her reflection that she throws a blanket over it and walks away.
4. Whenever she finds out something about her mom’s cancer
Brittany’s mom Sharon’s cancer completely overturns her life. When Brittany first finds out — during a hike in LA — she exclaims, “I gotta quit my movie! What is the point if I don’t have you to share it with?” Later, she finds out her mom has relapsed by finding a pamphlet about cancer on the kitchen counter. She collapses into sobs and has mascara dripping down her face when her mom gets home.
5. Her sex scandal as the “Jordache Junkie”
While Brittany is helping her mom in the hospital, a rumor surfaces that she “got loaded and hooked up with a cater-waiter” at a party. They call her the “Jordache Junkie” (because she was the latest Jordache model, of course) and she tells her mom, “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the idea that I left your hospital room to go out and get loaded and have anonymous sex.”
6. Her breakup with Ashton Kutcher
Lifetime
Though Ashton and Brittany have an adorable costar romance after “Just Married” — and notably, Ashton’s casting is probably the best of the entire film — it has to come to an end. Toward the end of their relationship, he laments, “I don’t understand. What happened between when we first started hooking up to now? We were having fun.” She comes home from a trip without her engagement ring on and explains to her mom, “We decided to call it quits. I always felt like I was dragging him down.” As she walks upstairs to rest, she immediately faints and her suitcase rolls down the stairs, crashing at the bottom.
7. Her paparazzi attack
Brittany is hospitalized for “extreme anemia” and hypoglycemia after her collapse. As she exits the hospital, paparazzi surround her and scream at her. Out of nowhere, Simon — whom she has only met twice before — emerges, screams “BACK OFF!” and pushes them away so he can get her in his car. “I tried to warn you, Britt. The paparazzi — they’re not your friends,” he says as dramatic music plays.
8. Sharon’s reaction to Brittany taking pills
When Brittany’s mom finds out she’s taking pills to help her anxiety, she screams, “ANTIDEPRESSANTS?”! like she just admitted to smoking crack.
9. When she finds out her agents are dropping her
After the “Jordache Junkie” mess, Brittany is dropped by her agency. As the camera pans in on her crying, she says solemnly, “I’m telling you… it’s over.” Somehow, the three papers she was holding make a loud thud on the floor.
10. Simon Monjack = Simon “Conjack”
Lifetime
After Simon and Brittany get engaged after one date and a week together in New York, she comes back to LA to plan her wedding. A woman overhears them talking about it and runs over to their table to tell them about how Simon “Conjack” has “multiple fiancees and hearts left strewn across the Atlantic” and many “lawsuits and unpaid bills.” He’s a “manipulative con man who victimizes trusting people!” she tells them, “and get your ring appraised — it’s cubic zirconium!” This all happens as she’s being dragged out of the restaurant by security.
11. Simon’s arrest
Soon after, the police come to arrest Simon. “Where are you taking him? Tell me where you’re taking him!” Brittany screams as he’s hauled away. Her attorney calls him a “genius con man” and reveals Simon is on an expired visa and has committed multiple crimes. She marries him anyway. He later tells her he’s “a little bit of a sociopath” and that all the things she heard were true.
12. When Brittany wakes up to “gunshots”
Brittany thinks she hears gunshots outside, so naturally, she runs out and screams, “What do you want, huh? Leave us alone, just leave me alone!” The cops come and tell her it was just a generator misfiring in the neighborhood.
13. When she gets fired from her “career-rebooting” film
“There has been a slight change of plans. You’re not allowed on set anymore. She’s been replaced,” the director tells Brittany and Simon in Puerto Rico after she falls asleep on set and can’t remember her lines. “Nobody will put up with her drama.”
14. When Simon has a heart attack
After returning from Puerto Rico, Simon has a heart attack. When Brittany finds him, she drops a tray of soup (in slow motion) and then tries to give him CPR.
15. Her penguin meltdown
Lifetime
“They’re saying I’ve been replaced on “Happy Feet 2!” Simon, they can’t do that, can they? That is all I have right now! It’s everywhere!” she screams as she scrolls through the tabloids.
16. Her entire death scene
Brittany gets pneumonia and is coughing, wheezing, and chugging cough syrup. She refuses to go to the doctor because she doesn’t want the press to call her a junkie. Just when you think she’s getting better after not being able to breathe, she collapses in the bathroom — sight unseen, just a crash heard — and Simon and Sharon find her gushing blood after hitting her head. They try waking her up with a cold shower as they sob, the entire scene without dialogue.
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