If you’ve been watching television lately, you might have noticed a certain facial feature making far fewer appearances than expected. Right now, not one but two of the current crop of big-deal primetime shows — “The Strain,” and “The Knick” — have prominently-featured characters with a prominent lack of noses.
And because two makes a trend, we can confidently say: Noses are this year’s hottest must-not-have accessory, a striking omission that makes for a superlative visage. Who are the best onscreen characters ever to lack an olfactory apparatus? We’ve rounded up the best of ‘em.
1. The Missing Nose You Barely Noticed: Eichorst, “The Strain”
There is so much wrong with Herr Eichorst’s body, the lack of nose doesn’t even make it into the top 5.
2. Nosiest Guy On This List: Tyrion Lannister, “Game of Thrones”
Although HBO chose not to deprive Tyrion of his nose, those who’ve read the books know that he was supposed to lose it at the Battle of the Blackwater, and dammit, we’re not letting this go.
3. Most Totally Undeserved Noselessness: Abigail Alford, “The Knick”
Poor Abigail tried to do the wise thing in marrying someone other than Doctor Thackeray — only to lose her nose when her philandering husband brought home a secret case of syphilis.
4. Happy to Be Nose-Free: Voldemort, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”
Voldy has never not been delighted at the condition of his snakey schnoz.
5. Prettiest Prosthetic Nose: The Earl of Rochester, “The Libertine”
It really ties his… face… together.
6. Most Oscar-Worthy Moment of Noselessness: Pooh-Bear, “The Salton Sea”
At some point during this monologue, Vincent Donofrio’s prosthetic nose becomes the least alarming thing about him.
7. The Punniest Man Without a Nose: Mason Verger, “Hannibal”
Ba-dum, CHING! Thank you, thank you. He’ll be here all week. In a traction device and a compression mask.
8. Best Near-Noselessness: Dr. Jonas, “Conspiracy Theory”
Despite a valiant effort by Jerry Fletcher (Mel Gibson), Jonas doesn’t actually lose his nose in this movie.
9. Worst Possible Way to Lose a Nose: This dude from “Batman Returns”
Let’s be real: Once your nose has been inside Danny Devito’s mouth, you probably wouldn’t even want it back.
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