This morning, Miley Cyrus shared a new present she received from Wayne Coyne and Katy Weaver. No, it wasn’t a gift certificate to Walmart—it was a rainbow sweatshirt, complete with fluffy cloud sleeves.
Where does one even get a sweatshirt like this, you ask? Well, it’s your lucky day. Miley actually shared where it came from—a Japanese e-commerce site called Galaxxxy. I took the liberty of scouring the site for other items Miley might be interested in and, instead, stumbled upon some of the most bizarre clothing items and accessories I’ve ever seen.
Duck Tank
Galaxxy
If you want to look like you’re straight-up getting eaten by a duck with long eyelashes, this is the tank for you.
Food-Themed Clothing
Galaxxxy
This ice cream cone dress and pizza set are for the biggest ice cream and ‘za fans in the world. I mean, we love us some food-themed goods, but I don’t know how easy these would be to incorporate into our wardrobes.
Elaborate Accessories
Galaxxxy
While Nicki Minaj wore this very same ice cream necklace to the 2011 VMAs, I’m not sure I could make it #WERK IRL because it’d remind me of how hungry I am all the time. That pink pony has more hair than I do—also, it’d probably be very itchy on your chest?
Mufflers
Galaxxxy
These thunder and lips mufflers have no description on the site and I cannot figure out what they’re for. Warmth? Pizzazz? Chin rest? I really don’t know. Since Miley is already fond of the site, though, she’d probably like the lips one. It comes with a retractable tongue, so.
“Fantastic Gang Lady T-shirt”
Galaxxxy
Um, OK. There is a lot going on on this shirt: Jesus wearing a Spring Breakers-inspired balaclava, holding a cigarette, and, presumably, a cup of sizzurp; Lisa Frank-style dolphins floating through a rainbow; the superfluous use of firearms; and, of course, the WordArt “I’m So Done” text. In the history of clothing, a shirt has never had so much going on. Wow. No.
These Leggings
Galaxxxy
Uh. I really don’t know.
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