Lorde‘s “Royals” has been #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for eight consecutive weeks now, a mark that would all but assure it “Song of the Year” status if not for Robin Thicke’s blasted “Blurred Lines,” which topped the chart for a staggering 12 weeks this summer.
And while Thicke’s got her beat in that regard, at least Lorde can lay claim to this title: “Royals” is unquestionably the year’s only #1 that was inspired by a first-ballot Hall of Famer who once sh–his pants in Las Vegas.
Yes, in an interview with VH1, Lorde revealed that her smash hit was at least partially inspired by a photograph she saw of of Kansas City Royals’ legend George Brett, who spent his entire 21-year career with the team, led them to a World Series title in 1985, and was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1999.
Of course, the teen queen wasn’t aware of any of this at the time (since she was born in 1996): she just liked his uniform.
“I had this image from the National Geographic of this dude signing baseballs,” she said. “He was a baseball player and his shirt said ‘Royals.’ And I was like ‘I really love that word,’ because I’m a big word fetishist, I’ll pick a word and I’ll pin an idea to that. It was just that word and I was like ‘This is really cool.'”
Hey, it’s certainly cooler than basing a song on Neifi Perez. Anyway, inspired by all this talk of music and baseball, we decided it was time to open this pack of Pop Star Trading Cards that we’ve been saving for a special occasion … and here’s what we found inside. Sorry, we already ate the gum.
2013 Highlights: Filed for free agency after seven standout seasons with Disney, eventually inked a lucrative deal with RCA Records. “The Wrecking Ball” posted career highs in hits, twerking, and parents outraged, though her refusal to adhere to the league’s uniform policy frequently had her in hot water with the commissioner.
2013 Highlights: Former league MVP reimagined herself as a contact hitter with Prism, which led to dramatic dips in HRs and music videos featuring Snoop Dogg. Still ranked among the league leaders in hits, silencing naysayers who suggested she derived her powers from that blue wig.
2013 Highlights: For the first time since 2008, she didn’t release an album, though she somehow still showed up on six singles, including the stripper anthem “Pour It Up” and Emimen’s “The Monster.” Tied for the league lead (with Nicki Minaj) in outrageous-ass Instagram pics, and finished in the top five in twerking, smoking grips of weed, mean-spirited feuds.
2013 Highlights: Highly-touted rookie made major-league debut with Yours Truly, lived up to the hype by placing three singles on the Billboard Hot 100. The slick-singing phenom has drawn comparisons to Hall Of Famers like Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, though her numbers were down slightly in the second-half of the season, due in no small part to a run-in with “demons from hell.”
2013 Highlights: Missed time recovering from off-season hip surgery, still managed to rank among the league leaders in general batsh–ery, outrageous costuming. Released ARTPOP, which debuted to underwhelming sales, yet still suggests she could return to the form that earned her league MVP honors in 2010.
2013 Highlights: Made the leap from the blogosphere to the majors thanks entirely to “Royals,” her omnipresent single. Ranked amongst the league leaders in weeks spent at #1, first-week sales figures, and amazing hair. Despite seeming perpetually over it, was still named “2013 Rookie of the Year” by the Pop Writers’ Association of America.
2013 Highlights: Signed with Cash Money Records, released a single called “Banga! Banga!” and won at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. With a penchant for being shirtless and a reliance on backwards baseball caps, most scouts compare him to Justin Bieber, though without a proper album to his name, he’s still got a way to go before he’s ready to compete with the best.
2013 Highlights: A tough year for the Canadian Cannon, who posted career lows in most offensive categories, save one: relieving himself in mop buckets. Also ran afoul of Germany officials thanks to an illegal monkey, offended the entire nation of Argentina and got killed by Danny Trejo. Will look to rebound in 2014, with a little help from his pal R. Kelly.
2013 Highlights: Came out of retirement to once again top the charts with a pair of albums, lead the league in Tom Ford tuxedos and most albums sold, finished second to Miley Cyrus in VMA MVP voting. Still proved susceptible to making annoying sketches with Jimmy Fallon. Is handsome.
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