Someone is holding One Direction captive — and they kind of like it. Or, you know, at least it seems that way given the title of track #11 on their upcoming record: “Stockholm Syndrome.” Yup, the dudes just released the tracklist for Four today and there is was — nestled among “Spaces” and “Clouds.” Patty Hearst all the way.
Stockholm syndrome, defined by Merriam-Webster, is “the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor.” It was coined as such after a bank robbery in Sweden in which bank employees developed sympathy for the dudes holding up the bank.
We’re guessing 1D’s new track isn’t about literal Stockholm Syndrome — just like “Steal My Girl” and “Fireproof” aren’t about larceny and flame retardant materials. The jam is probably about being in some girl’s thrall and being OK with it. Or, you know, they could be being held captive by the below…
Harry Styles’ Man Bun
It has become self-aware. The man bun is not a force to trifle with.
Their Love For ‘Divergent’
I mean, the record is called “Four”… Everyone loves that dude.
Carrots
Directioners got me on this one.
Spoons
I mean, this is the most likely culprit…
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