Ahh, September. ‘Tis the season for school supplies, falling leaves and raucous house parties to celebrate the new academic year. College freshies, don’t go into your first frat party naive and clueless. Here are all the glamorous people you can expect to brush shoulders with this weekend.
1. The Frat Boys Hosting The Party, Who Seriously Insist You Call Them “Fraternity Men”
2. The Freshman Who Hopelessly Hits On An Upperclassman
3. The Person Who Cries When They Get Drunk
4. The Clearly Out-Of-Place Graduate Trying To Relive Their Golden Days
Related: 11 People To Break Ties With Now That You’re In College
5. The Couple Who Met Each Other Five Minutes Ago And Are Now Making Out Like Their Lives Depend On It
6. The Party Poopers Ruining The Vibe By Complaining About How They Have “Sooo Many Exams Next Week”
7. The Overly Self-Impressed Bartender
8. The Kid Who’s Had A Little Too Much Who Locks The Bathroom Door, So Now You Have Nowhere To Pee
9. The Kid Who’s Nice Enough To Direct You To A Bathroom On The Top Floor That Actually Has Soap And Toilet Paper #blessed
10. The Girl Who’s Playing Beer Pong But Says She “Doesn’t Drink Beer”
11. The People Tearing Up The Dance Floor
12. The People Trying To Tear Up The Dance Floor And Failing Miserably
13. The Freshman Who Wore Heels And Regrets It
14. The Girl Who Told Another Girl That She Liked Her Top, And Now They’ll Be BFFs For The Rest Of College
15. The Freshman Who Keeps Texting Their Ex From High School Even Though They Broke Up At The End Of Summer
16. The Bouncers — a.k.a. Two Sophomore Boys — Who Freely Discriminate Against Freshmen
Nickelodeon
Related: 12 Lies Every Freshman Tells About College
17. The Guys Who Can’t Get In Because Their Ratio Stinks
18. The Person Standing In The Corner Awkwardly Pretending To Text Because They Don’t Know Anyone
19. Your Future Boyfriend/Girlfriend…LOL JK DON’T BE RIDICULOUS
But hey, you never know!
Also, for a bonus life pro tip, don’t ever use these horrendous convo starters to break the ice at college parties:
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