May 16, 2024

About the author  ⁄ Lauren Vino

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Are Every Guy You’ll Ever Date

Oct 28, 2014 Posted by In TMZ Music News Comments 0

by 23 mins ago

It’s a special time in every girl’s life when she first experiences romantic feelings towards one or more of the Ninja Turtles. (Or am I just speaking for myself here?) It’s an even more special time in a grown woman’s life when she realizes that’s not even the creepiest thing about herself.

Well, you should know that these Turtle-related urges — if you happened to go through a similar phase — were totally, totally normal. You were subconsciously figuring out what you’re into, and it’s not necessarily buff mutant turtles. They just represent the types of guys you’ll end up dating. And your Ninja Turtle of choice can tell you about your ideal type of (human) dude.

Related: Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Should You Date? Take Our Quiz

Raphael: The Bad Boy

raphael angry


Raph is your typical lone wolf from the wrong side of the sewer. He bucks authority — which makes him kind of a babe — and you’re drawn to him because he’s intense, emotional and a seemingly fun project. It doesn’t hurt that he also really knows how to fill out a trench coat.

That novelty wears off quickly and you’ll get tired of being a good, understanding listener to someone who claims to be so misunderstood. If not, he’ll probably cut things off before you get too close anyways. Plus, he’s got tons of daddy issues, partially stemming from the fact that his adoptive father is a literal rat.

Leonardo: The Boss

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Didn’t Get A Date To The School Dance? These Things Are More Fun Anyway

by 19 mins ago

You shouldn’t have to explain whether you “chose not to go” or just didn’t get a date — it’s none of anyone’s business. (And yes, that also goes for your mom.) There’s zero shame in saying “no” even if nobody asked you to go, especially when there are waaaaay better ways to spend your night than going to a stressful school dance…

Check out a live show

headbanging 2


If dancing to music is what you’re missing, go directly to the source. Research all-ages venues within your area, and be open to checking out new genres. You won’t even remember that dance in a few years, but you’ll always remember discovering your favorite underground artist.

Comedy and live theater are also options, depending on where you live and what you’re into. Even if all your friends are at homecoming, there’s no such thing as going stag to a show — and you might even meet new friends with a similar definition of fun.

Create something

make something


Going to a dance takes a lot of energy — and when you don’t even want to go in the first place, it can feel like all of your energy. Instead, be creative. Make anything from a silly Vine or doodle, to an idea for a future business or cause. Many impressive adults spent their teenage years developing their ideas and growing into future innovators, activists and creatives who got far more out of life than a corsage.

Eat somewhere usually crowded ...

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Didn’t Get A Date To The School Dance? These Things Are More Fun Anyway

by 19 mins ago

You shouldn’t have to explain whether you “chose not to go” or just didn’t get a date — it’s none of anyone’s business. (And yes, that also goes for your mom.) There’s zero shame in saying “no” even if nobody asked you to go, especially when there are waaaaay better ways to spend your night than going to a stressful school dance…

Check out a live show

headbanging 2


If dancing to music is what you’re missing, go directly to the source. Research all-ages venues within your area, and be open to checking out new genres. You won’t even remember that dance in a few years, but you’ll always remember discovering your favorite underground artist.

Comedy and live theater are also options, depending on where you live and what you’re into. Even if all your friends are at homecoming, there’s no such thing as going stag to a show — and you might even meet new friends with a similar definition of fun.

Create something

make something


Going to a dance takes a lot of energy — and when you don’t even want to go in the first place, it can feel like all of your energy. Instead, be creative. Make anything from a silly Vine or doodle, to an idea for a future business or cause. Many impressive adults spent their teenage years developing their ideas and growing into future innovators, activists and creatives who got far more out of life than a corsage.

Eat somewhere usually crowded ...

Read More →

What A Girl Is Saying When She Doesn’t Hold Back A Fart

by 1 min ago

Us ladies often hold back, but when we don’t this action speaks (and smells) louder than words. When a girl farts it can say a lot about what she’s thinking, but don’t assume every rip means the same thing. Just like certain things we say can have different meanings, so can our gas. Each toot can take on a various subtext. It’s not cut and dry (insert wet fart pun here), but if she’s farting she’s likely thinking one of these things…

“I love you.”

tumblr_nbuflavxRK1t5c6u6o1_500


Quite common in long term relationship, this is just her way of validating the level intimacy you’ve reached.

“You’re in the Friend Zone.”

friend zone


Just because she’s farting doesn’t mean she loves you, it just means that she’s comfortable around you. If you’re relationship is undefined, than this is likely a platonic gesture that says, “Let’s be buds.” So don’t make a move (if you still want to) unless you want to lose a friend and look like you have a flatulence fetish.

“I feel threatened.”

skunk


Skunks have anal glands that release their signature smell when they’re in danger. Girl farts don’t always, but can function similarly as nature’s pepper spray. Though we can’t always do it on command, having a stomach full of gas in an uncomfortable situation can feel like a blessing (in disgusting disguise). Whether it’s instincts or just her luck, if she’s farting it might be because she wants you to back off. Now you don’t ...

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The Best Life Lessons From TV’s Greatest Uncles

by 26 mins ago

With all the insight of a grownup and none of the responsibility, uncles have it pretty great. Whether they’re leading by example or lack thereof, they can teach kids a lot…even when they’re just actors appearing on sitcoms. Here’s useful and important advice we learned about the real world from our favorite TV uncles.

Uncle Fester (“The Addams Family”)
The lesson: It’s what’s on the inside that counts

fester


Given his creepy appearance, his gross name and his generally bizarre vibe, Uncle Fester might make people feel uncomfortable at first — but he was always kind, avoided conflict, treated his niece Wednesday and nephew Pugsley with great affection, and had many other less obvious charms, such as doubling as a lamp. Just because someone looks a little strange, it’s their personality we should really be noticing.

Uncle Leo (“Seinfeld”)
The lesson: Accept your family for who they are, because they’re never changing

hello


Oh, Uncle Leo. Whenever he made semi-senile appearance on the show, it reminded us that — like Jerry — we can choose our friends, but we can’t choose our family. No matter how annoying they can be, you’ve gotta love them anyways…and should, in Leo’s words, “Always say hello.”

Uncle Fred (“I Love Lucy”)
The lesson: Keep your mind on your money and your money on your mind

fred i love lucy


Fred Mertz got a reputation as a penny-pincher, but that’s only because he lost a fortune in a 1929 stock market crash, lived through ...

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8 Ways To Be Healthy When You’re Broke

by 26 mins ago

Tonight’s “Girl Code” addresses the important and often neglected subject of your health. If you can afford bushels of kale and a pricey gym membership, then congratulations, but otherwise it can seem difficult to get and stay healthy. The truth is, though, even if you don’t have unlimited resources, you have many choices that are good for your body and budget.

1. Embrace lemons

lemon


When life gives you them, you know what to do. Lemons have tons of potassium, may help with digestion, and can be incorporated into meals or just added to water — oh, and they cost less than $1. They’ll even treat a case of scurvy, and pirates aren’t made of money either.

2. Ride a bike
No gas money, no problem. Getting a bicycle is way cheaper than the cost of owning a car (or, over time, taking public transportation), and many cities are implementing low-cost bike sharing programs. So download a free calorie counter app and try riding for the day — you’ll burn just as much without paying a huge premium to ride those stationary bikes at the gym. And the scenery is better.

Related: 7 Small Changes That Will Make You Work Out More Often

3. Stock up on beans

COOL-BEANS


Canned beans may not be the sexiest superfood, but they’re cheap, packed with just as much protein as meat, and just a one-cup serving contains nearly half of your daily recommended fiber intake. ...

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How To Make Sure You’re OK With Casual Sex: The One-Night Stand Checklist

by 15 mins ago

“Girl Code” tackled a huge topic in this season’s premiere, “Sexuality.” In the discussion, the topic of casual sex comes up. Now, it’s certainly not for everyone. If you are interested though, you should really think it all the way through first. Learning how to have a one-night stand can mean the difference between it feeling like a mistake and a simple right of passage. And when there’s unnecessary shame associated with sleeping around (especially for women), it’s hard to find proper guidance. For you and your not-so-serious partner’s sake, it’s best to answer the following questions before hooking up.

Watch the full episode here:

1. Am I A Virgin?
Casual sex can be a great way to gain experience, but when it’s your only experience it can bring on more baggage than sex in a relationship. That doesn’t mean your first time has to be perfect (because it totally wont be), but don’t have a one-night stand just to get over with either.

2. Do I Have Protection?
You don’t have to be a boy scout to always be prepared. Planned Parenthood and other clinics are literally giving condoms away. Plus, stores sell them to you even if you can’t stop giggling.

3. Am I Comfortable Talking About Condoms?
As experience has unfortunately shown, having a condom isn’t enough. You have to be able to say, “Can you put this on or leave?” Asking that doesn’t make things weird – having unprotected sex because you’re afraid of being awkward does.

4. Do I Want A ...

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Here Is Why Trojan’s New Condom Survey Should Have Us All Worried

by 29 mins ago

In some areas of life, you don’t need a perfect batting average — not every grade you make will be an “A,” not every meal you cook will be edible, not every Facebook update you post will get likes. But when it comes to safe sex, there’s zero room for error: One careless decision could drastically impact your life.

Trojan recently surveyed 500 men and 500 women between 18 and 34, two-thirds of them single and a third in relationships, about their condom use and attitudes. Here’s what they found, including many areas for improvement…

Condoms are (far) more popular in theory than practice

simpsons condoms


While 81% of young adults said that condom use is important, only 35% reported always using them. That means 46% of people just like the idea of condoms, which is completely useless. Agreeing that condoms are important (without actual use) has never prevented a single STD or pregnancy in the history of STDs and pregnancies. Put your money where your mouth is! (No pun intended.)

Related: Everything You (N)ever Wanted To Know About Condoms

Most couples don’t get tested before going condom-free

tumblr_lbiz4yQt9j1qde33io1_500


Of the people in relationships who don’t use condoms (62% of whom stopped using them within two months as a sign of “trust, commitment, and exclusivity”), 64% hadn’t been to a doctor or clinic to find out their sexual health status. You can only build up so much “trust” in a couple months, but you can’t lie your way out ...

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9 Scientific Reasons Why Your Soul Mate Doesn’t Exist

by 29 mins ago

You’re never going to meet your better half, because that’s not actually a person. Your better half is just whatever side of you photographs best. None of us is “made for” a specific partner.

That sounds bleak, but brighten up — you don’t have to believe in soul mates to believe in love. It just means there are plenty of possible relationship options to be surprised by, and that’s even more awesome than obsessively seeking a (nonexistent) perfect fit. Consider yourself liberated from the search, and here’s why…

1. You can’t forecast the future

grower


According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, couples that believe in “romantic destiny” are more likely to end relationships than couples who believe in “romantic growth.” The former avoid dealing with “relationship stressors,” because they refuse to admit anything’s wrong until it’s too late to save the relationship. Romantic goals are long-term, so be a grower, not a shower — emotionally speaking

2. You don’t complete each other

complete me


Two people becoming one should terrify you — it’s the start of a human centipede! A recent study from Northwestern University and the University of Chicago shows that married people increasingly suffer from emotional “suffocation” by not seeking self-fulfillment apart from their relationships. Being a whole person will make your relationship stronger; codependency will make it weaker.

3. Mammals aren’t (typically) monogamous

bird


Monogamy is seen in 90% of bird species, but only in 3% ...

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5 Ways To Treat Internet Addiction (Including Sometimes Using The Internet)

by 1 min ago

When Internet Addiction Disorder was first introduced in 1995, no one was supposed to take it seriously. Dr. Ivan Goldberg developed the diagnosis as satire and no one got the joke. Almost two decades later, a doctor’s failed attempt at comedy writing describes a disease that actually seems legit and common.

Internet addiction is not yet officially recognized by the DSM-V, which the American Psychiatric Association uses to define and diagnose mental illnesses. That hasn’t stopped a variety of treatment options from emerging; it just stops your insurance from paying for it. But if you have the means and motivation to break your Snapchat cravings, here are your options.

1. Therapy

therapy


Dr. Kimberly Young was the first to develop a treatment model for internet addiction using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Harm Reduction Therapy when she founded the Center For Internet Addiction in 1995. CBT is a form of talk therapy that’s “problem-focused” and “goal-directed,” while HRT is a type of substance abuse treatment that focuses on reducing the negative impact of your addiction rather than abstaining. (They can’t expect you to be completely internet-free when part of the therapy is offered via Skype.)

Hourly sessions are $120 with a range of possible additional fees, depending on your individual assessment.

Related Video:

2. Inpatient programs

rehab


Dr. Young more recently founded the first internet addiction clinic at the Bradford Regional Center in Pennsylvania. The inpatient program starts at 10 days, but can be up ...

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