May 18, 2024

About the author  ⁄ Nick Blake

The 10 Most ’80s Music Videos Directed By David Fincher

by 4 mins ago

You are a movie fan, and so you probably know that director David Fincher began his ridiculously successful career directing music videos. It’s a fun fact you can point out to your unsuspecting date during particularly tense scenes of “Gone Girl,” Fincher’s latest directorial effort, out October 3rd.

One fantastic side effect of a great director beginning his career directing music videos in the 1980s? A great director directed a LOT of ’80s music videos! And with the magic of the 2014 intranets, we can watch them all whenever we want, complete with a frothy mix of shame and amusement.

But which 10 Fincher-helmed music videos are the most “’80s,” exactly? There’s no correct answer — from a cultural perspective, the 1980s was probably the single most distinguishable decade in American history, after all — but my goodness, the following 10 videos are spectacularly ’80s.

10. “Most of All,” Jody Watley (1988)

Nothing like opening your video with a close-up shot of Alka-Seltzer dissolving in water, the resulting carbonation covering some shirtless dude as he touches himself suggestively. Ladies and gentlemen, Ronald Reagan’s America.

9. “Say You Will,” Foreigner (1987)

Like “Most of All,” Foreigner’s “Say You Will” is both black and white and features extreme close-ups of everything, which…somehow works and I’ve had this song stuck in my head for three days now?

8. “Love Will Rise Again,” Loverboy (1987)

Best part: The concert’s sprinklers go off around the two-minute mark because Loverboy just made everything too hot. But! No one dies from electrical ...

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How To Trade In Fantasy Football Without Pissing People Off

by 33 mins ago

Mostly amusing, kind of pathetic fact: To an almost startling degree, people really care about their fantasy football teams. And that’s before we even consider leagues that make it interesting, so to speak, by betting on fun things like “bragging rights” and “pride.” Can you imagine if gambling actual money on sports wasn’t a felony punishable by years of federal imprisonment? The stakes!

Probably the event that causes the most ill will among fantasy footballers of any league is the completion of a trade, wherein members usually assume (in most cases correctly) that one team was intentionally screwed by another. This development inevitably leads to several heated email chains featuring otherwise emotionally-stable friends yelling at each other about millionaires. Feelings are hurt, people cry, etc.

Which begs the question: Does there even exist a way to make a fantasy football trade without pissing people off?

Of course, silly! To begin, let’s briefly go over some common trade proposal personalities that are good to adopt only if you want to be rightly punted in the genitals. To know thy d-bag, you must become thy d-bag.

The Playground Bully

comeatmebro


This guy gives you flashbacks to when you were picked on in grade school. He not only asks for your best player, he does it while insisting you’d be foolish to not accept his awful trade. Moreover, he’s probably calling you “bro,” e.g., “You really gonna just hang on to Jamal (sp) Charles, bro? Your (sp) 5-6 with no chance. Cruz is ...

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