May 15, 2024

If Every ‘Awkward’ Character Had A ‘F*** It List’…

Time is a-tickin’ until graduation day in Palos Hills, and Senior Class President Tamara, for one, isn’t going to waste a single second.

On tonight’s “Awkward” episode, to ring in the new year, T resolved to liven up the little bit of high school she had left. “We should make a ‘f*** it’ list!” she suggested as she, Jenna, Matty and Jake made their way to Aunt Ally’s New Year’s Eve bash. “Everything we thought we couldn’t do ’cause we were too sad or too scared, we should just carpe do-it!” And so she started with the first point on her agenda: tonguing a “dumb-yum” wrestler named Pete at the party (not to mention, she was first in line at the ice luge). Minx!

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And Jake, who hooked up with a young mom, certainly partied hard, as well. Still, Matty and Jenna — like many of their peers — were mostly well-behaved, but should they take a ride on the F***-It Train too? In case they’re unsure of how to hop on board, here’s how we see it happening:

Sadie:

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Friend, it’s time to E-M-A-N-C-I-P-A-T-E. With a convicted felon for a father and a prodigal narcissist as a mother, Sadie is definitely better off on her own (a life beyond Palos Hills is imminent, anyway!). And you know what? Have a cookie, pal — you deserve it.

Matty:

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Matty finally did say f*** it tonight when he and his mother — who have been walking on eggshells since Matty discovered he was adopted — finally had an honest talk. Since he’s already dated a compulsive liar who faked a pregnancy, maybe the wildest thing Matty could do is commit to family dinners and have a few more meaningful conversations…? CRAZY, WE KNOW!

Lissa:

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The Christian wonder made waves when she finally came clean about her feelings for Tyler, so how does she YOLO? Take those smooches from behind closed doors and put ‘em right out where everyone can see. And maybe, if she’s feeling especially feisty, Lissa can skip the 10 a.m. mass next week. Father Thomas is going to FREAK!

Jenna:

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Who cares if Jenna’s new crush is a sophomore — it’s time to go after Owen, J-Town! There are only so many months left in high school, and after a serious relationship with Luke, it might be fun for Jenna to finally date without the pressure of wondering where it could go. Plus, Owen, who’s got a similarly quirky sense of humor, could be worth the risk.

Lacey:

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How can someone who basically has “hedonist” tattooed across her forehead seize the day? By literally getting a tattoo that says “hedonist” tattooed across her forehead. She’ll thank us when the swelling goes down.

Val:

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Time to take that walk on the wild side, V. Your secret will be safe with us!

About the author  ⁄ Matthew Scott Donnelly

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