April 27, 2024

Miley Cyrus’ ‘We Can’t Stop’ Gets Cleaned Up By Rebecca Black

Former viral-video sensation Rebecca Black has emerged from wherever she’s been hiding — home school? Kathy Beth Terry‘s house? That sad place where dreams go to die? — with a brand-new cover of Miley Cyrus‘ salacious summertime hit

Of course, given her age (just 16) and her squeaky-clean persona, Black’s not getting as down-and-dirty as America’s reigning queen of twerk … so instead of bumping and grinding against dudes with smoking crotches, RB simply sings the song, accompanied by a guy named “Jon D,” who has very nice teeth and is almost certainly a youth minister. She’s also replaced some of Miley’s more, uh, not questionable lyrics with appropriately PG material, so “To my homegirls here with the big butts/Shakin’ it like we at a strip club” becomes “To my homegirls here, living it up/Feeling alive and are in love,” and Cyrus’s “trying to get a line in the bathroom” line is removed entirely.

Instead, the focus is placed solely on Black’s singing abilities — you can tell she’s really going for it when she closes her eyes — which have definitely improved from her . And sure, that’s not going to make for a particularly compelling bit of viral fodder — here’s about the best thing we can say about Black’s song: it’s a sanitized, slightly sleepy ballad that really serves no point, but certainly doesn’t offend , either — we suspect that’s not the point. This is essentially a de facto audition tape (for just what, we’re not sure,) but given that folks are already saying Black’s version of the song is better than Miley’s original (or Rihanna’s … whatever), well, then she’s probably already won. Again.

Faint praise? Well, given just how desperately she seems to be chasing fame, we’re willing to bet Rebecca will take it. Jon D too … after all, he’s already recorded a One Direction tribute album, so, really, the sky’s the limit.

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