May 5, 2024

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Drunken Zombie Santa Claus

Because nightmares are real, two Minnesota teenagers received a surprise visit from a super-drunk guy dressed up as a zombie-fied version of Santa Claus last weekend.

Did he come bearing gifts at least? Nope, not unless you count vomiting and passing out on the nearest sleep-able surface. Which I don’t.

The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reports that the straight-to-DVD slasher wannabe is actually a 21-year-old student at St. Paul’s University of St. Thomas. Like many young people in the area, he spent last Saturday (October 11) bar-hopping in costume around Minneapolis as part of a Zombie Pub Crawl. Unlike many young people in the area, he ended his night by entering a stranger’s house to find a place to sleep.

One of the two teens at home, a 16-year-old, locked herself in the bathroom, while her 14-year-old brother ran out for help.

When authorities arrived to retrieve the Tim Burton-esque monstrosity, he had no idea where he was, says police spokesman Sgt. Paul Paulos, and he was taken to a detoxification center. The UST senior was cited for trespassing.

Did you lock your door?

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

About the author  ⁄ John Walker

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