We’ve all been there: You step away from your phone for a while and when you come back, there’s a panic-inducing notification that someone has left you a…wait for it…VOICE MAIL.

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Chances are, if you’re a millennial, this is cause for a full-on anxiety attack. What kind of monster would do such a thing?!

According to NPR, the loathing that young people feel toward voice mails is a very real and very legitimate thing. On the receiving end, it’s a time-consuming chore to listen to people’s rambling messages. If something was so important, wouldn’t they have just texted you?

And on the recording end, it’s a pain to sit through a robotic woman’s voice telling you HOW to leave a voice mail, as if that wasn’t common sense. Then you’re tasked with a pseudo-public speaking engagement where you have to leave an awkward message that— let’s face it — the other person might never even hear.

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Back in June, The New York Times reported that voice mail rates are dropping and landline calls have basically plummeted (not such a shocker). That’s probably because — in the eyes of most millennials — phone calls are awkward, slow, and unnecessary. This is an era where most young people prefer to see to believe. Whether it’s a text message, a Snapchat, or a pretty Instagram, we’ve becoming accustomed to connecting to people in visual ways. It’s faster, we can do ...

In an epic exchange that makes Iggy and Snoop’s online feud look like child’s play, Madeleine Albright and Conan O’Brien hilariously traded quips at each other this week, and it’s pretty effin’ clear who came out on top.

It all started when O’Brien joked that he wants to dress up as “slutty Madeleine Albright” for Halloween. That’s when the former Secretary of State — and certifiable 77-year-old BO$$ — said “hell naw” and flawlessly fired back (in under 30 minutes, no less):

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Fortunately for the entire Internet, the fun didn’t stop there. It is a proven fact that the older you are, the less f**ks you have to give, so Albright decided to school O’Brien on the clear and present dangers of arguing with a woman of her stature (remember: one Presidential Medal of Freedom trumps any number of Emmy awards).

Bow down to Albright, one and all.

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The whole thing wrapped up in good fun, with the red-haired (and probably now red-faced) O’Brien waving the white flag and Albright using a #TeamCoco hashtag as a sign of peace. And then they skipped happily into the sunset together.

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Madeline Roth

What happens when you ask a weatherman to give the forecast while wrangling a huge, riled-up dog? Something like this:

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Mike Sobel, a weatherman at Global News in Edmonton, Canada, found out the hard way that dogs + live TV = viral YouTube disaster. He was asked to hold an 18-month-old mastiff mix from a local humane society named Ripple on a leash while delivering the day’s forecast. After joking that Ripple “wants to play” (duh), the pup chewed and tugged on his leash before eventually breaking the whole thing off.

Sobel was left nervously laughing as he quipped, “We gotta move quickly through this here!” To his credit, he did make it through the entirety of his report, though he was left breathless and paw-printed by the end of it. But let’s be real… was anyone watching actually paying attention to the temperatures during that whole debacle? We think not.

Watch the whole hilarious incident go down right here:

And in case anyone was left wondering whether Sobel and Ripple would leave their differences in the dust and live happily ever after together, the good-sported weatherman had this to say:

Madeline Roth

We’ve given you plenty of reasons to be terrified of the ocean, including but not limited to testicle-eating fish, shark-eating fish, and all of these nightmarish creatures.

But it turns out, there’s another petrifying oceanic threat you need to know about: Your sex life.

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Earlier this week, an Italian couple found out the hard way that ocean sex isn’t as dreamy as it sounds. The lovebirds were getting it on in the waves at a secluded beach off the Italian coast when they somehow got stuck together.

After flagging down a woman on the beach, a doctor was called in to fix the sticky situation. But the job was too tricky for him, so the tangled-up couple eventually had to be transported to the emergency room. They were finally pried apart after the woman received an injection that’s used to dilate a pregnant woman’s uterus.

This humiliating fail is a reminder to adventurous, sea-loving couples everywhere that sometimes it’s better to forgo Jack Dawson’s advice and actually let go.

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Madeline Roth

Remember when you were younger and you had to lie about your age all the time so you could do ~cool~ things like buy a drink, snag an older date, or order from an infomercial? Turns out, the anxiety that comes with faking your age may follow you for the rest of your life… if you live to be old enough, that is.

When Plainview, Minnesota resident Anna Stoehr tried to sign up for Facebook recently, she came to a crossroads. Her birth year wasn’t listed as an option in the site’s drop down menu, so she did what any regular rebel would do: She lied.

But unlike hordes of preteens who are faced with that tricky situation, Stoehr wasn’t trying to age up… the 114-year-old had to age down. Stoehr was born in 1900, back when the U.S. had 45 stars on its flag and President William McKinley was the 25th president. Facebook, however, apparently doesn’t think amazing people like Stoehr exist, because the site capped the age limit to people born in 1905.

To her credit, Stoehr — who’s the seventh oldest person in the U.S. — got around the age block by claiming her birth year was 1914. Yep, she aged herself down to a pretty 99 years old (cue “Flawless” remix). She also took the time to pen an epic letter to Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, telling him, “I’m still here.”

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Unlike most senior citizens who seem to ...

Halloween came early this year for the poor citizens of Bakersfield, California. That’s because there is some bizarre, terrifying, “American Horror Story”-level ish going down there that makes Twisty the Clown look like an amateur.

Welcome to — OH MY GOD.

Top that, Twisty.

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Bakersfield police have been receiving multiple reports recently about creepy clowns hanging out in public places. It all started when the Instagram account @wascoclown popped up last week, posting pics of a red-haired menace lurking about town, clutching balloons and generally being super-super-super-disturbing.

Wasco chills on a bench, appearing neither fast nor friendly.

Since the account popped up, police say they’ve responded to a bunch of calls complaining about clowns armed with weapons like bats and axes. However, they haven’t found any substantial proof of criminal activity, and they’re chalking it all up to pranks.

Wasco climbs a lamp post and ascends into our nightmares.

As for the Wasco Clown, local Bakersfield news station KGET scored an interview with the miscreant, who requested anonymity and explained the whole charade is part of a year-long photography project that his wife is doing.

Hmm… Sounds suspicious, but if Miley Cyrus can create entire installations out of junk that looks like it came straight from the Chuck E. Cheese’s prize counter, then maybe anyone really can do anything for the sake of art.

Wasco hangs out on a playground, scarring children for life.

Still, it looks like the Wasco Clown’s influence is already spreading ...

New York Comic Con is taking over the Big Apple this weekend, drawing in some 130,000 excited fans for the festivities. Of course, it wouldn’t be Comic-Con without some out-of-this-world costumes, and this year’s attendees have definitely not disappointed.

Related: Which Celeb Charges The Most For An Autograph At NY Comic Con?

Hordes of fanboys and fangirls have descended upon the Javitz Center disguised as their favorite superheroes, villains, anime characters, video game avatars, zombies, cartoons and talking trees. (Yay, Groot!)

MTV scoured the scene to find the best of the best for your viewing pleasure (and possibly your Halloween inspiration?). Feast your eyes on these elaborate, jaw-dropping looks below.

1.) Nadya Sonika As Cammy From “Street Fighter”

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2.) Gilly Kins As Captain Cold, One Of The Flash’s Rogues

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3.) Vera Baby As Casey Jones From “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”

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4.) Chris Trotter As Cochise From “The Warriors”

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5.) The Warriors

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6.) Julio Atehortua As Frank From “Donnie Darko”

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7.) Daniel Ramos As Groot From “Guardians Of ...